If you can't make it better you can laugh at it. ~Erma Bombeck

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, November 30, 2009

I DID IT!!! I DID IT!!!


Thirty posts in thirty days!








Now I just have to maintain my resolve to post regularly from now on. Maybe, just maybe, if I do some more of the people who use to hang out around here will come back more often, too!

HAVE A HAPPY WHATEVER, Y'ALL!!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Need Glasses?

My great bloggy friend Margie sends me the coolest stuff! Take a look at this picture. It is a test of your powers of observation. Look closely. After you've spotted everything you think might be the target scroll down to the bottom for the answer.







OK, what'd you see?  Did you see the bare hiney on that girl in the pink shirt?

If so YOU NEED GLASSES!

Look again, silly. It's just the arm of the girl holding the camera. Now we know where your mind was!

It's always a good idea to look twice when we see something that looks offensive. You never know when what you thought you saw is actually something altogether different. Same thing applies to how you hear what people say. Before you judge, check again... you may need to clean your emotional glasses.


Peace, Blessings, and Get your mind outta the gutter!


MySpaceAnimations.com

Saturday, November 28, 2009

A meaty question

Can anybody tell me how this happens? I bought some hamburger meat and didn't open it until a couple of days later. It smelled OK, but when I started breaking it apart this is what I found:




While the outside was all red and pretty, the inside was brown and slimy!! YUUUUUCK!  The only way I can think this might happen is if they wrapped new meat around older meat to get it sold. G.R.O.S.S.!!!

Unfortunately I'd thrown the receipt away already so had no proof of when I purchased it and the manager at the store told me that there was nothing she could do about it. Needless to say I'll not be shopping at that store anymore.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Personal disasters for which I am abundantly thankful - Part II

Being abandoned by my biological mother - Aside from the obvious gratitude of having been adopted by my amazing mother, there is another important reason. The members of the biological family from which I came have a long history of miscreant behavior. Alcohol and drug addiction are accepted norms. Had I stayed in that world I may never have developed the aversion to that out of control feeling I get when I drink. I would probably have just accepted that behavior as a part of “having a good time. By now I would have most certainly been a raging alcoholic. Or worse.



That I wrecked my mother’s car a week after I got my driver’s license - A mere six blocks from home a woman backed out of her driveway right into the front end of my mother’s car. There was nothing I could have done to prevent the accident because it happened so fast that there was no way around her. (She had a history of peeling out of her driveway without looking.) When my parents arrived on the scene Mother immediately snatched me into her arms and comforted me. My father inspected the car and pronounced it drivable -- and told me to get in and drive home. I pleaded with him to let me ride home with Mom. He very firmly ordered me to "get back in that damn car and drive it home." I did, crying the whole way. When we got in the house Dad made me sit down and let him explain why I had to do it. He knew that if I allowed my fear to take over I’d never be sure of myself behind the wheel again. The lesson of facing my fears stuck and has been carried forward throughout my life.



Being divorced twice before I was 23 - My first two marital failures laid the foundation for the success of my third. The first taught me the importance of maintaining your friendship with your spouse. The second taught me to listen to my instincts. By the time I met Hubby I’d finally figured out what I wanted and what I would and would not accept in a mate. We celebrated 28 years of marriage this past April.



That Twig went to prison - By the time he turned 20 Twig had had two serious near-miss direct threats on his life and had been involved in more dangerous behavior than this mother‘s heart can stand to think about. In both instances God changed circumstances and put up roadblocks to keep his potential assassins from completing their tasks. During those dark days of his life there were weeks, sometime months, that I would not hear from him. I became very well acquainted with the staffs of three local county coroners offices Every time I’d hear on the news that a young man had been found dead I’d call. Towards the end they started recognizing my voice and would have the answer before I asked the question. “No, ma’am. This one doesn’t have that identifying mark.” I truly, in my heart of hearts, believe that being sentenced to prison saved his life. I’m thinking God’s got something in store for that boy that is going to seriously rock somebody's socks off.



That someone once reported us to CPS (Children‘s Protective Services) - During the worst of My Girl’s emotional/mental/behavioral nightmare days we were in the process of trying to figure out how to get her the help she needed. The insurance had run out and we’d already gone through our available cash. The only course left for us was to go back to CPS and ask for assistance. We knew that it might mean they’d take her back but we were willing to let her go if that’s what it took to get her the help she needed. As it turned out, in Texas there is a Joint Managing Conservatorship available for struggling parents of adopted children with emotional disorders. The process of getting it pushed through, though, was going to take several months -- longer than the hospital would let us keep her there without going on a prepaid plan. One afternoon I hung up with yet another discussion with the hospital administrator just the doorbell rang. A man from CPS informed me that we had been accused of child abuse and he was here to investigate. As it turned out, abuse investigations glean the same information required by the JMC review committee only they have to get it a whole lot faster. Because someone turned us in as abusive parents (which was so totally unfounded that every doctor, counselor, law enforcement agency, and CPS worker we’d dealt with wrote letters of support for us) the JMC was pushed through in record time. In less than a month MG belonged 51% to the State of Texas and 49% to us and I was named as her case manager giving me unprecedented total control over her treatment while the state paid all bills that our insurance wouldn’t. It also confused the dickens out of the staff at the hospitals where she resided for the next 16 months. They weren’t use to having CPS AND the child’s parents involved all at the same time… but that’s a story for another day.



That I almost died of chemical poisoning - In early 1980 we’d gone to my parent’s lake house to help them work on the fiberglass porch roof. The chemical solvent used to ‘glue’ the fiberglass panels together is call MEKP. It is supposed to be stored cold. When it’s cold it has no odor and is clear. And looks like water in an unmarked jar in the fridge. When 15-month-old Bug wanted a drink of water I poured him a glass out of the jar Mom always kept in the fridge. Thank GOD I took a swig of it before handing it to him. I knew immediately that something was seriously wrong. Soon-to-be Hubby drove 90 mph to get me to the nearest ER. I spent 2 days in ICU and I think 5 more in the hospital. If I’d given the glass to Bug he would have died before we could get to the hospital.



When we look back over our lives we see a landscape pock-marked by disastrous, life-altering explosions. We can choose to allow the shrapnel to cripple us or we can choose to melt it down and use it as building blocks to a stronger, safer, more fulfilling future. I am personally grateful for the challenges that made me the strong, self-assured woman I am today.

During this season of Thanksgiving, what life-alering disasters are you grateful for? What has strengthen you? Take a look back. You might be surprised...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Personal disasters for which I am abundantly thankful

  • Being abandoned by my biological mother

  • That I wrecked my mother’s car a week after I got my driver’s license

  • Being divorced twice before I was 23

  • That Twig went to prison

  • That someone once reported us to CPS

  • That I almost died of chemical poisoning

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you why.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Early Turkey

We had an early Thanksgiving feast with our oldest friends tonight. I'm stuffed! Come back tomorrow for my list of personal disasters for which I am abundantly grateful. For now, if you want to read some of my earlier posts on Thanksgiving fun check out:

The Turkey's First Bird - The story of the first time Hubby ever cooked Thanksgiving dinner.

For tonight, sleep well with sweetpotato and pumpkin pie dreams.



MySpaceAnimations.com

Animations provided by MySpaceAnimations.com

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING





A message every adult should read because children


are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my

first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately

wanted to paint another one.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a

stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind

to animals.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my

favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little

things can be the special things in life.



When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a

prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always

talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a

meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I

learned that we all have to help take care of each other.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care

of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have

to take care of what we are given.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you

handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't

feel good, and I learned that I would have to be

responsible when I grow up.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come

from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things

hurt, but it's all right to cry.



When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you

cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.



When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of

life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and

productive person when I grow up..



When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and

wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when

you thought I wasn't looking.'




I AM SENDING THIS TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW

WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS,

BUT THINK THAT NO ONE EVER SEES.

LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT .



Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend)

influences the life of a child.




How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by

sending this to someone else, you will probably make

them at least think about their influence on others.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Leave the rest to God.
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Grandma Margie emailed this to me a long time ago. I thought today would be a great day to share it. I have not idea who wrote it or where the email originated. If you do PLEASE let me know so that I can give proper credit.
 
 
Peace, Blessings and Remember that little pitchers have big ears.
 

Monday, November 23, 2009

My hairy problem

A story in pictures. Well, mostly...










Never in my life did I think I'd have to wax (ok, so it's duct tape) my COUCH!  Anybody have any suggestions on an easier way to get the hair out of the cracks... outside of keeping the dogs off the couch cuz, well, they pretty much own the house.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Proof... And a winner, too!

... that on Saturday, November 21, 2009, MY REFRIGERATOR WAS CLEAN!





And if you look VEEEEERY closely you will see that

THERE IS NO KETCHUP IN IT!!

Now for the results of The Great Ketchup Debate:

75% of the twelves of ones of people who responded are of the misguided opinion that it belongs in the fridge. I will pray for your poor abused sauces...

And the winner of the contest amongst the commenters is Brandi. Congratulations, girl. And I won't even hold it against you if you put it in the fridge. ;o)

Peace, Blessings, and PANTRY!!!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I was just thinking...

Why are laundry and bowel movements alike?

Dropping a load a day sure helps keep things cleaned out.



tee hee hee... that's what you get for making me actually DO something today!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Just feel like sharin' the love... grrrrr

Three guesses what kind of mood I'm in right now.... First two don't count!

The day started of like




About half way back from Fort Worth, I realized that something needed to be done about the S.T.U.P.I.D. drivers on the road so



Once home, a trip to the store resulted in



Maybe I'm a little tired and need some





But in the end, it all boils down to



Peace, Blessings and, Oh, what the hell....

Monday, November 16, 2009

Outtakes - Papertowel Perplexion

Kids STILL say the darndest things!

I walked into the public restroom to find a little girl waving her hands in the air while talking to her mommy who was still in the stall:

Mommy: Are you washing your hands?
Cutiepie:  Yes, Mommy. I finished.
Mommy: Okay. Dry your hands and stay right there. I'll be out in a minute.
Cutiepie:  I can't, Mommy.
Mommy: Why not?
Cutiepie, still waving her hands in the air: The towels won't come out.

It was then that I realized why she was waving her her hands around: she was standing in front of the old crank-style papertowel despenser trying to activate a sensor to get a towel. After stifling a chuckle I helped her get one.

Cutiepie to me: Thank you, Ma'am.


Mommy (who was obviously having some serious potty issues and thus unable to come out to check on who was with her daughter): Sarah, are you still there? Is everything alright?

Sarah, to her mother (at which point I literally snorted out a chuckle): Yes, Mommy. This old lady knew how to make it work.

Mommy: Sarah!

Just then another stall opened up and I entered, sparing the poor mother the humiliation of having to face me. While it was the funniest stinkin' thing I'd heard in a while, I knew from experience that Mommy would have been mortified to have had look me in the eye.

Peace, Blessings, and Never doubt that Old Dogs with their Old Tricks do sometimes come in handy!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

How far or how long...

The drive out to West Texas was pretty uneventful. We won't go into the drama at the hotel. Suffice it to say that nobody got much sleep.

The NGYCP-Texas Youth Challenge facility is a school turned TYC turned military-style youth rescue compound. Amazingly, I didn't get any pictues of it! DUH! I'll be sure to do better in January when we drop her off for the start of the program. I did get some of the scenery along the way, though.  It's really a whole bunch of nothing but scrub brush and distant hills with roads cut through it all -- including the hills! LOL!











After the orientation session we dropped My Girl off in San Antonio. She was very obviously glad go see me go, but what bothers me more is that I was glad to be gone. And what hurts my heart the most is that despite my best efforts I don't know how to reach her. I don't know how to help her grow out of the childish, imature, grossly age-inappropriate behaviors that will be so life limiting for her.

I guess I could just quit trying. I guess I could let her continue on the path she's chosen and assume that eventually she will grow out of it. But that would require that she find somewhere else to live because I can't watch her do it to herself. Oh, wait. That's what she's done. So why am I agonizing over it?   One good reason: I'm afraid of losing her.  I'm afraid of failing her. I'm afraid of pushing her too far away and of holding her too close.

My fears don't really matter much, though, because no matter what I do she pushes me away. No matter how hard I try, what test I pass, what hurdles I jump, there are more trials, more tests, more reminders that I'm not her real mother; that her real family are the people who refused to give her a home and unconditional love and support when she needed it most. Then my hurt turns to resentment which turns to sniping. It's a vicious cycle that is slowly killing our relationship. So, now I have no choice but to walk away for a while. Maybe the separation will do us both good.  I'm not going far. She can get to me when she's ready. I'm going to leave it up to her to decide how long or, like Martina McBride sings so beautifully, How Far...

Peace, Blessings, and Parental Wisdom to all.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Home again, home again...

924.3 miles later, we are home. We left Friday at 10 a.m. and arrived back home at 11:30. Just now, I'm tired. No sleep last night because... well... drama. More later with pics. Right now, I'm going to bed.

Peace, Blessings, anzzzzzzzzz

Friday, November 13, 2009

My First Skywatch Friday

During my long blogging absence I never stopped thinking about this place. I continued to take notes and snap pictures with the full intent of getting them posted. As you've noticed I didn't quite make it. Now that I'm back you're going to start seeing some of the stuff I've collected starting with this beautiful sunset from my driveway and the end of our street on Friday, July 17, 2009.

I remember standing there staring at the beauty not thinking about anything else but how much I wished my bloggy friends could be standing there sharing it with me. However you couldn't be so I grabbed my phone and snapped some pics. These are the best of them.  I have not manipulated these colors at all.









Wishing you all Peace, Blessings and a Million Beautiful Sunsets.




Thursday, November 12, 2009

Just because it's for the best...

...doesn't mean it won't hurt.

My Girl has been accepted back into the National Guard Youth Challenge Program. We will be leaving tomorrow to take her to West Texas for orientation. Then we will be dropping her off in San Antonio to stay with her other family until January when the program officially starts.

She and I have somehow lost our ability to be in the room without sniping - or worse - over the last couple of months. We are both to blame, we both hate it, yet neither of us has a clue where to start to fix it.  The best solution for now is for her to be elsewhere.

While I won't miss the daily cat fights, I will miss the beautiful heart that shines through now and then. I will miss the rare moments of light-hearted companionship. Even few and far between is better than nothing at all.

Truth be told, right now I feel pretty much like a failure in the Mom department. Why can't I just ignore her continual passive-aggressiveness? Why can't I find a way to teach her how to stop it?

I know that this is just part of the process she needs to go through to get to where she needs to be in life. I just wish it didn't hurt so much -- this struggle to accept that things didn't turn out the way I thought they would when we adopted her.

One day, with the grace of God, she will be grown and independent, and we will be able to look back and laugh. For now,

Peace, Blessings, and Pass the tissue box, please.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Happy Birthday!

First off, let me say that I AM THE WORST MOTHER-IN-LAW IN THE WORLD! Lady N's birthday is November 9. Just TWO days before mine. How hard is it to remember to get a card mailed for her? Obviously it's too taxing for this old broad! So, I am officially apologizing for being such a putz!

I'M SORRY, LADY N. I HOPE YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS GREAT. The card's in the mail.

~~~~~~~

For my birthday, as usual, I got spoiled. This morning MG gave me a lovely card that made me cry. She picks the best cards! This afternoon Bug called and we talked for over an hour. He also gave me more Kiva bucks to spend. Yay! Tonight for dinner I wanted pizza. Hubby would have taken me anywhere but I just didn't feel like getting out.  So we ordered pizza and he made me his special fudge brownies. And I got to have the whole bowl to lick all by myself since it's my birthday! 

Hubby gave me two new Precious Moments.


MG gave me a pretty new red poncho-style coat.



Yesterday DD cleaned the whole house and did all the laundry so I'd have nothing to do today. She's also going to take me out to lunch one day next week. Also, Twig called yesterday cuz he got his days mixed up. But that's OK with me because it means I got to spread my birthday fun out over two days!

Last but not least, Hubby had to get in one more bit of fun before the day's out. He sent me these wassups just to make me laugh. It worked!







All in all it was a pretty great 53rd. Hope your day was good, too!

Peace, Blessings and SCORPIO'S RULE!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Customer Service Rant - Academy - FAIL!

MG is heading off to the National Guard Youth Challenge Program again in January, so we are now in the process of re-buying all the supplies we donated to the program six weeks before she decided to re-apply. UGH!  Anyway...

We took a trip to Academy today looking for training tennies, warm-up pants, sweat shirts, and gym shorts. The whole time we were in the clothing section I saw not one employee. When we went to look at shoes there were two there, neither of whom seemed to want to be bothered with something silly like answering quetions for us. Well, to be fair, one of them did glare at me and say "in a minute" and honor that by coming back, answering one question and then quickly disappearing again.

After 15 frustrating minutes of searching in vain for the shoes in boxes that matched the shoes on display I was ready to walk out. However, I'm not one to give up so easily.  Instead, I pulled out my trusty new cell phone and called the store and requested to speak to the General Manager.  Her polite "How may I help you?" gave me the perfect opening to explain that I was standing in her shoe department needing assistance but was loath to ask for help from either of the sullen, inattentive red-shirts I'd seen skulking about. Of course she promised to send someone right over. 

Five minutes later we were just leaving when a woman who didn't even introduce herself showed up looking amused (WTFrig??). She followed me back to the aisle where we'd just been scavenger hunting and proceeded to re-scavenge the racks. And then guess what?? The "in a minute" chick decided to come help. However, all she managed to do was prove what a poor team leader -- yep, she wore a Team Lead badge! -- she is by not being able to find anything in her disorganized team zone. hmmmm...  Ten MORE minutes later they both finally gave up and said the shoes we wanted weren't there. No offer to help us find the right size in another shoe. No apology for having wasted our time. Just  "sorry, they aren't here."

As we were preparing to leave I couldn't resist the urge to get in one last shot teaching moment.

Me: Missy (not her real name, but DEFINITELY her real attitude), as a team leader you should keep in mind that the proper response to a customer's request for help is a smile accompanied by, "Yes, Ma'am. Let me finish with this one thing and I'll be right with you." Not, "in a minute."

Missy:  What I said was "I'll be with you in a minute."

Me: Oh? I didn't hear the 'I'll be with you' part; probably due to the fact that the look on your face said, "why the heck are you bothering me?" which can be very distracting.

Missy: I didn't ignore y...

Me: Excuse me? Are you going to argue with me? Really? I'm trying to offer you constructive criticism here. Take it or leave it.

Missy:  (now with fake smile gracing her mouth but woefully missing from her eyes) I'm sorry, that wasn't my intent. Thank you for the input. I will keep it in mind.

The manager-type person never said a word.

So, three guesses where my next Web surf will take me... I sure hope Academy has an onine complaint form to make it easier.

Peace, Blessings, and Really? Geesh!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Mario rides again!


I think I've fallen into some weird parallel timewarp universe! I'm sitting in my living room with 3 teenagers, this time 2 girls and 1 boy, laughing at them playing MARIO! Yep, the original!

The only thing that would make it more perfect would be if Bug was here to whip all their butts. That boy was one brick-bashing wizard!

Somewhere I have a video of Twig at age 3 sitting on the floor, holding down the jump button singing, "Here comes Peter Cot-ton Tail. Hop-pin dowwwwwn thuh bunny traiiiil..." If I can ever find it and figure out how to get it onto here, I'll post it for you. He was soooo cute!

Funny how one old game can evoke so many great memories. Wonderful how that same old game is now making some great new ones.


Peace, Blessings, and Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Great Ketchup Debate - Survey and Contest


Take the Ketchup Survey!

While we are on the subject of food fun, I have a question for you:  Where do you keep your ketchup? Around here it is a constant battle to keep it in its proper place: THE PANTRY.

There is absolutely nothing nastier than dipping nice hot french fries into icy ketchup rendering them nothing more than greasy, cold potato sticks. And don't even get me started on the blasphemy of putting frigid red goop on my perfectly baked meat loaf. GRRRRR

Since the girls like it cold and Hubby and I like it room temp, I started wondering what the masses here in the blogverse think.  Soooo, if you would be so kind as to participate in my little survey I would be EVER so grateful.

Look over there to the right in my sidebar under that precious little nose picker. There's a survey form. I'm going to keep it up there unitl 11/15 so send all your friends over to vote. 

Plus, leave me a comment and once the survey's done I'll draw somebody's name out of a hat and send them a bottle of ketchup.  And yes, you can keep it wherever you want

Can't wait to see who wins... not that that'll make me change MY opinion... It'll just make me laugh at yours (if you happen to pick wrong!) LOLOLOL!

OK - now go back up there and CLICKY CLICKY!!
TAKE THE KETCHUP SURVEY 

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Lazy Saturday - Fun with Food

You know that you need to find a hobby when the most interesting thing you do all day is look for fun shapes in your food...

An onion reeeeng I almost didn't have the heart to eat.



A sweet little hushmousie



My pet cheetokeet.





Yes, I know I'm strange...
Peace, Blessings, and yomgoogsuf... Sorry. I was talking with food in my mouth.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Teach the Children Well & Honor those who do.

The other day I was standing in line at the grocery store behind a couple of moms with school-age kids in tow. They were complaining, in front of the kids, about the supplies they were having to buy for an upcoming class project.

Mom 1: I don't know what she thinks they're going to learn from such a stupid project.
Mom 2: I know It is so totally lame! You know we are going to end up doing them just to get it done.
Both: HA HA HA HA

Mom 2: The thing that bothers me the most is why WE have to buy the junk to make it. Doesn't the school have a budget for that?
Mom 1: Well even if they don't the teachers get paid enough that they should have to buy the stuff to do it. If nothing else that would cut down on the number of stupid projects they want to do each year.
Both: HA HA HA HA HA!

The whole time the kids, who looked to be about 5th graders, were listening intently to every word. I wonder how long it will be before those two moms are getting notes home about their Little Johnnies acting out in class and disrespecting the teacher? And I wonder who the two mombos (my new name for bimbo moms) will blame it on?

I wanted so desperately to say something, but I knew that whatever I said at that moment would sound something like: "You stupid dumbass b****s! What the hell do you think you're doing undermining your child's education?? Grow the F up you mombo!" which would only have resulted in the total loss of my point. Instead, I opted to (uncharacteristically) bite my tongue and drag out this email from Grandmamargie that I've been saving for a while....

TEACHERS' SALARIES
Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or 10 months a year! It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do--baby sit!
We can get that for less than minimum wage.

That's right. Let's give them $3 per hour and only the hours they worked, not
any of that silly planning time. That would be $24 a day (7:00 AM to 3:30 (or
so) PM with just 25 min. off for lunch). Each parent should pay $24 a day for
these teachers to baby-sit their children.
NOW...How many do they teach in a class, 30? So that's $24 x 30 =$720.00 a day.
However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! We're not going to pay them for any vacations.
LET'S SEE....That's $720 x 180 = $ 129,600 per year.
What about those special teachers and the ones with master's degrees? Well, we could pay them closer to minimum wage. Just to be fair we'll go $7.00 an hour. That would be $7 x 8 hours x 30 children x 180 days = $302,400 per year.
Wait a minute! There' s something wrong here! Average teacher salary $50,000/180 days = $277/per day/30 students =$9.23/8 hours = $1.16 per hour per student.
A very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even try - with or without your help - to EDUCATE your kids!
WHAT A DEAL....And you don't even have to buy them pizza!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make a teacher smile; show this to someone else who appreciates teachers...
Or someone who SHOULD!




Peace, Blessings & Thank God for those who teach.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Boomer Humor

I got this from a friend via email. Have no idea where she got it but I love it and just had to share!

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include:


Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.

Ringo Starr --- I Get by With a Little Help From Depends.

The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?

Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now.

Paul Simon --- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

The Commodores ---Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

Marvin Gaye --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

Procol Harem --- A Whiter Shade of Hair.

Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

Abba--- Denture Queen.

Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.

Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again


And Last but NOT least, my personal anthem

Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Wordless Wednesday - Dinner Companion

This is why we don't eat at the breakfast table anymore...




Peace, Blessings, and Food? You gots food up der??

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Goodbye NV. You will be missed.

I met NV in October of 2008. We quickly became fast friends --most always joined at the hip. NV was the smartest little thing that I'd ever seen. I was totally amazed at how quickly she could retrieve a world of information from the recesses of her busy mind. Her ability to identify any song by not only its name but also the artist and album from which it came was astounding. I tend to get lost because of an horrendous lack of any sense of direction. NV, however, had this built-in navigational sense that kept us from ending up in south BFE more times that I can remember.


Late this afternoon, in a misguided attempt to become an Olympic swimmer, NV dove head-first into the shallow end of our pool. Sadly, despite my heroic efforts to fish her out as quickly as possible, she drowned. Mostly because there was no friggin way I was jumping into 60 degree water to save a suicidal CELL PHONE!






RIP Sweet NV. Your replacement comes tomorrow. With any luck the insurance company won't have any more of your siblings and they'll have to send me your nephew, Envy 3. At least then your death won't have been in vain.


Peace, Blessings, and Where the heck is that dang UPS delivery truck???????

Monday, November 2, 2009

My not so rad RADS.

OK! OK! For those of you who keep emailing me wanting to know where the heck I've been since the end of August, here's the skinny...

The first Saturday in September I got a little bit of a sore throat. On Sunday it moved into my chest and I sounded like a bullfrog with a mouthful of cotton balls. When I finally went to the doctor on Wednesday I joked that I'd thought about holding off for another day or so. She laughed and said that would have been OK because then she could have charged me more for visiting me in the hospital. Funny lady.

Whatever hit me has been going around big time but stuff like that effects me more because of my wonderfully sensitive lungs. You see, back in the late 70s I worked in a chemical plant that manufactured stuff using liquid chlorine. If that stuff happened to escape somehow it would form a cloud containing chlorine gas. Deadly if you get caught in it for a long period of time. Lung damaging if you happen to drive through it on your way back from lunch with the windows down. At the time I just had a slight cough and it appeared to be no big deal. And I never thought to attribute the yearly bouts of bronchitis to that exposure until a couple of years ago when a very smart respiratory doc started asking questions trying to figure out why my lungs are so dang finicky. After hearing where I had worked he realized that the stuff I was exposed to has long-term damaging effects in some people. Yay me.

In my case it has caused Reactive Airways Dysfunction Syndrome or RADS. Breathing certain chemicals, including those in lots of colognes, will send my lungs into asthma-like spasms. Over the years the problem has gotten worse until now I have to carry a rescue inhaler with me at all times just like regular asthma patients. But it's not asthma. Weird, huh.

I've spent nearly two months trying to get my feet back under me. Only within the last week have I been able to stay vertical for more than an hour or two at a time, but I'm getting stronger every day. I still have to watch being out in public too much because my immune system isn't back to full strength yet.

So, thank you all for your prayers and concern and requests to get my butt back in the blogging game. But remember to be careful what you wish for... cuz I'M BAAACK!

OK, that's all for tonight. Until tomorrow,

Peace, Blessings, and Easy breathing to all

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Nablopomo Intro: 26 things


Guess what! I've decided to do the November post challenge on NaBloPoMo. That's right... go ahead and laugh. And scoff. And doubt. I know: you think I've been body snatched. Nope. I'm just tired of not doing what I love doing: writing. But I'm MORE tired of not talking to all the wonderful people I've met online through this blog. I miss hearing (OK, reading) about your life and times. So, to kick things off I saw this done by Roger (aka MylHiBug on Twitter - and HELLO ROGER! TWEET SOMETHING, WILL YA!) over at A Screed in Time who boosted it from Michelle of My Two Army Brats fame. I liked it so I boosted it, too! OK, so yes, it was several months ago (April!) that they posted theirs and I'm (a) behind. But anywhom, here goes:


A - Age: 53 this month. Unless, like most people, I get to count the day I first met my parents as my birthday, in which case I'm only 43. Either way, I'm good. And old. LOL!

B - Bed size: Queen

C - Chore you hate: Unloading the dishwasher, putting away laundry, filing paper work. I'm happy to load it, wash it, or pay it - just PLEASE don't make me do the rest! Isn't that why I had kids???

D - Dad's Name: Don

E- Essential start to your day item: COOOOOFFFFFEEEEEEE

F - Favorite actor(s): Male: Sam Elliott, Mike Rowe - both are rugged and sexy. Female: Doris Day because in her hayday she was amazingly beautiful, witty, and extremely talented. Plus, she's aged beautiful and gracefully -- something I so dearly aspire to personally achieve.

G - Gold or Silver: Gold

H - Height: 5ft 4in (At least for a few more years.)

I - Instruments you play(ed): Clarinet starting in 6th grade but only so I could get in the band to be a twirler.

J- Occupation: SAHMFCEFTN (stay at home mom/former corporate educator/full-time nut!)

K- Kid(s): Legally mine: Bug 30, Twig 27, MG 18 Should have been mine: Tori, DD, Angel

L - Living arrangements: Wonderfully blessed with a beautiful home that share with my husband of almost 30 years, MG, and DD (MG's best friend who needed a safe place to be for a while.)

M - Mom's name: Jo

N- Nicknames: B**** (At least that's what I get called by MG most of the time unless she wants something.) Sweetie (by Hubby)

O - Overnight hospital stay other than giving birth: Accidental MEKP poisoning in 1980. Almost died. Hysterectomy/Wisdom teeth extraction resulting in an anaerobic bacterial infection in my face in 1986. Almost died. If I was a cat I'd be down to only 8 lives left!

P - Pet Peeve: Tripping over MG's friggin clodhoppers in the middle of whatever floor she happens to be walking across when she decides to go barefoot!

Q - Quotes you like: We go through what we go through so we can help others go through what we went through. ~from my wonderful friend over at Family Life In the Desert

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: None

T - Time you wake up: Use to be as late as possible but in the last few years I can't sleep past 8:30 or 9:00 most of the time.

U- Underwear: Granny panties... I CANNOT do buttfloss!

V - Vegetable you dislike: peas! I total agree with Michelle who said, "Seriously food should not explode in my mouth when I bite into it IYKWIM!!" Especially when the explosion is malodorous green slime! YUUUUCK!

W - Ways you run late: Just need to do one more quick thing...

X - X-rays you've had: So many I could be my own light source!

Y - Yummy food you make: Meatloaf. Seriously. It is one of my kids' favorites 'cuz it's all meat. None of those nasty fillers like carrots, corn, peas, etc. Just good old lean ground beef seasoned and cooked to perfection!

Z - Zodiac: Scorpio


OK, so that's it. Feel free to do your own 26 and then come let me know so I can see what all we have in common. I was amazed at how alike Michelle and I are.


For now, Peace Blessings and A B, C D, E F G....

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