The Blessing of the Odd Socks

I have this thing about odd socks. I'm so sure that eventually the mate will show up that I've spent the last 30 years holding onto every lonely only that came out of the dryer. Once every couple of months I dump them all out and try to match them up. The result is discouraging to say the least.

Last Tuesday I FINALLY got fed up with it. I determined to once and for all go through the sock basket, match up everything I could, and get rid of the rest. The laundry was done and the house was relatively clean so I knew that there shouldn't be any stragglers hiding in the dark recesses under MG's bed. After three hours of the kind of frustration that only comes from putting a puzzle together just to find out there are pieces missing I'd finally managed to match what was matchable. The rest I dumped in a repurposed dry cleaning bag and posted it on Freecycle.

Mandi's son, Zachary, is disabled. Last Tuesday Mandi was reading Zach a book in which there were sock puppets. When her little guy's eyes lit up and he said he wanted to make some sock puppets like those in the book Mandy immediately emailed her church group asking for odd socks.

Wednesday morning one of Mandi's church lady friends phoned her to say that she'd just seen a bag of odd socks offered on Freecycle. She gave Mandi my email address.

Sitting at Subway enjoying a rare good day with MG, my phone beeped notifying me I'd received a new email (yes, in addition to twittering my life away I'm an email freak). When I read the email I immediately called Mandi and scheduled a meeting at 4:00 for her to come pick up the bag. In less than 24 hours the socks were on their way to a new and more purposeful life.

Coincidence? I don't think so. I think it's yet another in a long line of Godincidences that have blessed my life. And it is yet another reminder that God truly does have it all covered.

Peace, Blessings, and Lambchop Love to all!

Cow Power

Wow! It looks like they finally found a way to covert all that methane gas into usable energy!

Peace, Blessings, and MOOOOOO

Need Glasses?

My great bloggy friend Margie sends me the coolest stuff! Take a look at this picture. It is a test of your powers of observation. Look closely. After you've spotted everything you think might be the target scroll down to the bottom for the answer.

OK, what'd you see?  Did you see the bare hiney on that girl in the pink shirt?

If so YOU NEED GLASSES!

Look again, silly. It's just the arm of the girl holding the camera. Now we know where your mind was!

It's always a good idea to look twice when we see something that looks offensive. You never know when what you thought you saw is actually something altogether different. Same thing applies to how you hear what people say. Before you judge, check again... you may need to clean your emotional glasses.


Peace, Blessings, and Get your mind outta the gutter!

A meaty question

Can anybody tell me how this happens? I bought some hamburger meat and didn't open it until a couple of days later. It smelled OK, but when I started breaking it apart this is what I found:

While the outside was all red and pretty, the inside was brown and slimy!! YUUUUUCK!  The only way I can think this might happen is if they wrapped new meat around older meat to get it sold. G.R.O.S.S.!!!

Unfortunately I'd thrown the receipt away already so had no proof of when I purchased it and the manager at the store told me that there was nothing she could do about it. Needless to say I'll not be shopping at that store anymore.

Wordless Wednesday - Belted

Caution: Extreme interpretation of seat belt laws may result in :

Just feel like sharin' the love... grrrrr

Three guesses what kind of mood I'm in right now.... First two don't count!

The day started of like

About half way back from Fort Worth, I realized that something needed to be done about the S.T.U.P.I.D. drivers on the road so

Once home, a trip to the store resulted in

Maybe I'm a little tired and need some

But in the end, it all boils down to

Peace, Blessings and, Oh, what the hell....

Teach the Children Well & Honor those who do.

The other day I was standing in line at the grocery store behind a couple of moms with school-age kids in tow. They were complaining, in front of the kids, about the supplies they were having to buy for an upcoming class project.

Mom 1: I don't know what she thinks they're going to learn from such a stupid project.
Mom 2: I know It is so totally lame! You know we are going to end up doing them just to get it done.
Both: HA HA HA HA

Mom 2: The thing that bothers me the most is why WE have to buy the junk to make it. Doesn't the school have a budget for that?
Mom 1: Well even if they don't the teachers get paid enough that they should have to buy the stuff to do it. If nothing else that would cut down on the number of stupid projects they want to do each year.
Both: HA HA HA HA HA!

The whole time the kids, who looked to be about 5th graders, were listening intently to every word. I wonder how long it will be before those two moms are getting notes home about their Little Johnnies acting out in class and disrespecting the teacher? And I wonder who the two mombos (my new name for bimbo moms) will blame it on?

I wanted so desperately to say something, but I knew that whatever I said at that moment would sound something like: "You stupid dumbass b****s! What the hell do you think you're doing undermining your child's education?? Grow the F up you mombo!" which would only have resulted in the total loss of my point. Instead, I opted to (uncharacteristically) bite my tongue and drag out this email from Grandmamargie that I've been saving for a while....

TEACHERS' SALARIES
Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or 10 months a year! It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do--baby sit!
We can get that for less than minimum wage.

That's right. Let's give them $3 per hour and only the hours they worked, not
any of that silly planning time. That would be $24 a day (7:00 AM to 3:30 (or
so) PM with just 25 min. off for lunch). Each parent should pay $24 a day for
these teachers to baby-sit their children.
NOW...How many do they teach in a class, 30? So that's $24 x 30 =$720.00 a day.
However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! We're not going to pay them for any vacations.
LET'S SEE....That's $720 x 180 = $ 129,600 per year.
What about those special teachers and the ones with master's degrees? Well, we could pay them closer to minimum wage. Just to be fair we'll go $7.00 an hour. That would be $7 x 8 hours x 30 children x 180 days = $302,400 per year.
Wait a minute! There' s something wrong here! Average teacher salary $50,000/180 days = $277/per day/30 students =$9.23/8 hours = $1.16 per hour per student.
A very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even try - with or without your help - to EDUCATE your kids!
WHAT A DEAL....And you don't even have to buy them pizza!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Make a teacher smile; show this to someone else who appreciates teachers...

Or someone who SHOULD!

Peace, Blessings & Thank God for those who teach.

Brains for Sale!

The other day I was driving down the road in a state of complete and utter puzzlement trying to remember why it was that I'd chosen to come this way instead of going the back road I usually prefer. That way has soooo many lights and the traffic is always horrendous. Now, there I was, sitting at one of those much despised stop lights, behind an 18-wheeler, trying to remember just what it was that I was supposed to do. The thought crossed my mind that what I really needed was a new brain. Especially since this old, hormonally-deficient piece of gray matter is obviously wearing out or I'd be able to remember why I was sitting there instead of cruising down the no-light road. UGH! About then the light changed and ever. so. slooowly. the 18-wheeler lumbered forward revealing this:





A New Brain in a Box!! Finally!! A store I can actually get excited about checking out!! Remember that I hate shopping unless it is absolutely necessary? Well, with the way my mind seems to be faltering lately, I do believe that a trip to this store may very quickly become an absolute necessity.

Being the creative genius forward thinking desperately aging weirdo person I am, my next thought was that, hey! if they can put a new brain in a box why not a new butt in a bottle? I mean, come on... how hard could that be? And lookie what I found at my very next stop!



Ok, so I'll give you the fact that it's really for rash relief, but think about it: How cool would it be to have something that you could sprinkle on your butt to turn it into the perfect posterior everyone dreams of? And since monkey butts are pretty ugly, that'd be a great name for it!

All right, enough of this fantasy fixers stuff. Guess I'd better get my monkey butt out of the chair, turn off the computer, and go finish planting my new flowers. Maybe the fresh Spring air and sunshine will clear out the cobwebs. And, now that I think about it, when it comes right down to it, I hate shopping so much that I'll even go exercise if it means staying out of a store.

Peace, Blessings, and Sunshine to all!

SPAMMED-A-LOT

I’M RICH AND WANTED and with minimal effort can be beautiful and well dressed, too!! I can go anywhere, get unlimited funds, find the perfect lover and lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks (SIGN ME UP!). At least that’s what my email tells me.

Because I’m one of those inquiring minds who wants to know, I sorted my spam folder by subject. Here’s a (not so) brief synopsis of my 500+ (this month alone!) good and fortunate opportunities (the number in () at the end of each is the average number of emails PER DAY on that particular topic):

I can travel with Free Airline Tickets – FIVE notices (one a day for the reviewing period) wanting me to confirm my voucher for free tickets. How nice of them to be so aggressive ... tenacious... dogged... generous (!?!) in their attempts to give me free tickets! And all I have to do is adhere to their Program Requirements which include, but are not limited to: Signing up for free samples (just pay shipping and handling that is, amazingly, roughly equal to the value of the item offered), taking out a loan, applying for and activating a credit card, and/or making purchases. And, joy of all joys, they can change the rules and/or requirements at any time, without notice, and it’s my responsibility to catch the changes and adhere to those too in order to get the tickets!! Mmmmm… thanks, but no thanks. It’d be less painful, cheaper, and probably a lot safer to just hitchhike to Las Vegas! At least then I’d have a chance of getting there with money still in my pocket!

Then came offers for Bank loans for anything from cars to computers to vacations to pocket money (8 of them a day!) And the bonus is that I can finally stop worrying about that pesky credit rating thing because THEY DON’T CARE! Next, let’s not forget the free merchandise – laptops (a pink one, even!), clothes, business cards, ringtones, jewelry… OOOOOO AAAAAAHHHHH..

There are ways to get smarter for both pets and people: Bird Trick lessons (actually that might come in handy… maybe then my kids would stop referring to my conure as “the bitch bird from hell” or “pin cushion in waiting.” Just 3 of these this month.); or how about instructions on How to sell on Ebay. I have some junk and a camera… (OK, I have a LOT of junk. My children and hubby are hereby ordered to stop shaking their heads in sad, resigned disgust!)

There are a number of ways that I can reduce my weight (colon cleansing (6), diet patches – WOW! 20 lbs. in 2 weeks! Sign me up! (1), or consume some amazing, all natural concoction guaranteed to provide results in 30 days or your money back. I wonder if those come with any survivor benefits? HEY!! Maybe that’s a new market for some rich entrepreneur to explore: providing health care and survivor insurance specifically to people unfortunate enough to be desperate enough to fall for this crap!

I can do almost anything for free with the many $500 gift certificates that I’ve won from places like Lowes, Home Depot, JC Penney and Wal-Mart! All I have to do is pick something to have shipped to me and I only pay the shipping and handling, or sign up for a credit card, or apply for a loan. HEY! That sounds an awful lot like those airline ticket Program Requirements. I wonder if there’s any connection there?!?!?

I can change my career by: becoming a mystery shopper (4); by typing and filing forms from home (listed as a Google Business?? Didn’t know Google was THAT diversified! (3 a day!) ); by training for careers in Nursing (2) or Criminal Justice (2) OR!!!!... BEST OF ALL!!!…

PART-TIME/FULL-TIME Positions Available Now!
Salary: $6,239/month!
Position: Manager
Experience: None - We will train!
Requirements: Work from Home Positive Attitude Honesty and Integrity
Schedule: 5 hours/week - You choose your hours!

THAT’S $287.95 PER HOUR!! I want THAT job!! And there are obviously a lot of them out there because in a 28-day period, I received 49 different messages that all say this! And upon closer inspection, they are almost all from DIFFERENT domains! HUH???? There is either an overabundance of these jobs or this is the amazing psychic head hunter’s network where they all think so much alike that the rest of us should be verrrrry afraid!!!

And now for my personal favorite: MY SECRET ADMIRERS!! I am SOOO glad that there are so many people out there who want crazy old me. Isn’t it just my dumb luck that I had to go and fall head over heels, stupid in love with the man of my dreams 27 years ago?? Oh well, guess I’ll check them out anyway – it never hurts to have a backup plan! Let’s see: 36 eHarmony matches and 48 new crushes in just the last 20 days! WooHOO! All I can say Hubby better watch his step!

OK – I’m done and after all this studying and data compilation this is what I learned about the internet marketing community: THEY THINK I’M STUPID!

Have a blessed and peaceful evening!