The other day I was driving down the road in a state of complete and utter puzzlement trying to remember why it was that I'd chosen to come this way instead of going the back road I usually prefer. That way has soooo many lights and the traffic is always horrendous. Now, there I was, sitting at one of those much despised stop lights, behind an 18-wheeler, trying to remember just what it was that I was supposed to do. The thought crossed my mind that what I really needed was a new brain. Especially since this old, hormonally-deficient piece of gray matter is obviously wearing out or I'd be able to remember why I was sitting there instead of cruising down the no-light road. UGH! About then the light changed and ever. so. slooowly. the 18-wheeler lumbered forward revealing this:
A New Brain in a Box!! Finally!! A store I can actually get excited about checking out!! Remember that
I hate shopping unless it is absolutely necessary? Well, with the way my mind seems to be faltering lately, I do believe that a trip to this store may very quickly become an absolute necessity.
Being the
creative genius forward thinking desperately aging weirdo person I am, my next thought was that, hey! if they can put a new brain in a box why not a new butt in a bottle? I mean, come on... how hard could that be? And lookie what I found at my very next stop!
Ok, so I'll give you the fact that it's really for rash relief, but think about it: How cool would it be to have something that you could sprinkle on your butt to turn it into the perfect posterior everyone dreams of? And since monkey butts are pretty ugly, that'd be a great name for it!
All right, enough of this fantasy fixers stuff. Guess I'd better get my monkey butt out of the chair, turn off the computer, and go finish planting my new flowers. Maybe the fresh Spring air and sunshine will clear out the cobwebs. And, now that I think about it, when it comes right down to it, I hate shopping so much that I'll even go exercise if it means staying out of a store.
Peace, Blessings, and Sunshine to all!
Well, monkey butt, did you ever figure out the reason for traveling that particular route? Thanks for the laugh. :)
ReplyDelete*Well if get rid of monkey butt, then you have to get rid of rhino rings.
ReplyDeleteIf you get rid of rhino rings, then you have to get rid of baboon belly.
If you get rid of baboon belly, then ...
*Notice: I'm not saying that these apply to anyone. I was just in a silly mood. Please take no offense.
Too Funny!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wish I could access a new brain in a box...
did you ever remember?
I usually have to go back to where I started to remember why I was going into a particular room...luckily it doesn't often happen when I'm driving somewhere :)
Hmm I'll take the brain in a box and a side of flat tummy with thinner thighs perkier boobs please!
ReplyDeleteHold the monkey butt....
Hmmm what was I going to type just now, what was it, man, where is my brain....
ReplyDeleteI wonder if they make anti hippo hips as well? As soon as it is out on the market I think I will buy some, while I'm shopping I should get some of Brandi's anti baboon belly too.
That is too funny! What kind of place was that? Hope you figured out where you were going.
ReplyDeleteI better get a case of brains ordered. I've lost mine, and a few of my kiddos need to trade theirs in for newer, better models.
ReplyDeleteSupposin' a side of monkey butt wouldn't hurt either.
You are in luck, the last time the boys and I went to the International Food Store, I picked up some Brain Helper.
ReplyDeleteHum? I wonder where they get those Brains in a Box. Maybe they found Gracie's and put it in there, since hers seems to be missing... OH, no! Maybe it was mine, It doesn't seem to be where I put it!
ReplyDeleteThey should open up a store for some of us. I could use a new smaller butt, the flat tummy, and thinner thighs. I'd trade in my love handles...:-)
Oh my gosh that is hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteHey, loved the video you sent. It is very true and while I am not as psycho as that guy's wife, I do get where her husband was coming from.
Finally updated my blogs...LOL It's been a week...
Yeah I hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I was going there.
ReplyDeleteMargie - LOL!! Yes, I did finally figure out what I was going that way for... it was something for Hubby at the monkey butt store!!
ReplyDelete===============
Brandi - ROFLMMBO (Rolling On the Floor Laughing My MONKEY BUTT Off!! HA HA HA!!) You are so funny!
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Elizabeth - Just wait. You will eventually get old enough that you forget what you were doing before you ever get out of the cha... Ummm.. what was I saying?
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Brats Mom - oooo... perkier boobs... would that be Peaks in a Package??
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Gracie - HIPPO HIPS! You and Brandi should go into marketing this stuff together! ROFLMMBO!!
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Kathy - I think it's actually a tutorial place of some kind. If you click the picture you can see that the subtitle reads: Language Immersion Center. I really may have to go check it out.
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Lisa - LOL! Yours are just still packed in a box out in the garage. Don't worry, they'll turn up. Right after you buy new ones. LOL! And the kids are a lost cause for a few more years. Don't waste the money!! ;o)
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Robin - Brain helper.. yuuum... If that's anything like Hambuger Helper or Tuna Helper I respectfully decline all future dinner invitations unless I'm providing the main course. ;o)
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Rosebud - LOL! where'd you put what? Umm,let's see - a name for that love handle problem... Handle Halters? or Happy Handles!! Yep, that's the one! LOL!
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AZMom - Glad to give you a giggle! I'll get over there and check out the updates soon.
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Angela - The only thing worse is remembering what you were going to get, but forgetting why you needed it! LOLOLOL!!
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Love you guy!!!
OOO, I want both of those. And something that will conteract the effects of gravity on my front half...some sort of helium product?
ReplyDeleteI'm confused - what does Brandi mean by Rhino Rings? Do I have those? Jeez, now I have to worry about something new!
I was picturing fat rings. You probably don't have them.
ReplyDeleteMy husband received some "Anti-Monkey Butt" powder a few years ago as a gag Christmas gift. It greets him every morning when he opens the medecine cabinet to get his after-shave.
ReplyDelete女性会員様増加につき、当サイトの出張ホストが不足中です。女性の自宅やホテルに出向き、欲望を満たすお手伝いをしてくれる男性アルバイトをただいま募集していますので、興味のある方はTOPページから無料登録をお願いいたします
ReplyDelete最近様々なメディアで紹介されている家出掲示板では、全国各地のネットカフェ等を泊り歩いている家出少女のメッセージが多数書き込みされています。彼女たちはお金がないので掲示板で知り合った男性とすぐに遊びに行くようです。あなたも書き込みに返事を返してみませんか
ReplyDeleteオ○ニーライフのお手伝い、救援部でHな見せたがり女性からエロ写メ、ムービーをゲットしよう！近所の女の子なら実際に合ってHな事ができちゃうかも！？夏で開放的になっている女の子と遊んじゃおう
ReplyDelete