This friend is NOT welcome!

She's baaaaack... I really thought I'd found a way to get rid of her for good this time. It was hard getting her to leave in the first place, we've been such good friends for so many years. Back in the day we were virtually inseparable. Together we managed to get into more trouble!!

We'd sneak off together to the antique shops spending hours just milling around looking for that one thing that would not let us walk out of the store without it. We'd go to the movies and split a huge bag of popcorn and a coke. Some days we'd just pile up on the couch watchng old movies, eating ice cream and potatoe chips. It was she who, during one particularly slow, boring movie, introduced me to the wonder of pickle and potatoe chip "sandwiches". Chip-pickle-chip-MUNCH! MMMMM taaaastyyyy - especially when washed down with a big old, ice cold glass of coke. Fun times.

But then something in our relationship changed. I started realizing that with us having so much fun there were very few adult-type responsibility things getting done. The laundry piled up. So did the dust. And the dishes. Hubby and I'd go out to eat most every night because she and I'd been goofing all day and I just wasn't up to cooking. I did notice that I'd gained a few pounds. But, HEY, my makeup and hair looked great so it couldn't be all THAT much, right?

It wasn't until Christmas about a year ago that I really started seeing the havoc the friendship was reeking in my life. Yes, I knew I'd gained a BUNCH of weight, but I truly didn't see myself as that out of control. At least not until I dressed up in a pretty new blouse and stood in the front yard for pictures with my nephew's family... O. M. G.! Where did all of that ME come from? After sulking around for a while I sat my buddy down and had a discussion about how life was going to have to be from then on:

No more goofing off ALL day long. I had to get at least ONE positive thing accomplished every day. She didn't like it one bit at all, but I managed to separate myself from her long enough most days to make it. Some days all I could manage was dragging my over-large self to the gym for an hour of exercise. Then she and I'd sit around and whine about how harrrrd it was and get nothing else accomplished all day long.

Finally, I decided enough was enough. She had to go. There are some friendships that are just not healthy to maintain. So my long-time buddy was banished from my life. I won't say that I haven't thought about her a lot over the last several months, but I have been more productive and that has kept me from inviting her back. However, this morning when I woke up she was at the door. I tried to have coffee and then shew her on her way, but she just would NOT leave! I finally got up a few minutes ago and started working in my office, AKA the file cabinet barf center of the universe, that she got frustrated and stalked off. And all I can think is WAAA!! Cry baby! LOL! Today has proven to me that she's a drag! Seriously! So now I think I'm finally ready to say a fond but long overdue BUH-BYE!! to my old friend.

IDA WANNA

It was fun while it lasted, but it lasted too long!

OH, I almost forgot to tell you that I've found a new friend who I think's really going to be a blast. Her name?

IMA GONNA

OK, I'm outta here. Me and my new friend are gonna find the top of this desk if it kills us! If you haven't heard from me by this time tomorrow SEND IN A SEARCH PARTY!

Have a great day, y'all!