If you can't make it better you can laugh at it. ~Erma Bombeck


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

My Girl is 5 today!

Dear MG:

Wow! I cannot believe that it has already been five years since we stood in front of the judge and vowed to become a family. I'm still not sure you really wanted to make it legal. You had such hopes of somehow being able to live with your little brother. (I'm sorry we couldn't make that happen for you. At least we've been able to maintain contact and see him a few times a year.) I'm so glad you you didn't back out at the last minute; that somewhere deep inside you knew that in this family you would finally have a forever home.

What a rocky road we've had. You came to us so hurt by the life you'd already led. You were one angry, bitter, and often mean and cruel little girl who had built tall and thick walls around her heart to avoid being hurt anymore; who used emotions like a poisonous snake uses venom to paralyze anyone who dares get too close. But there were tiny slivers of cracks through which your true self shone so brightly that it was almost blinding. In those moments, when you let down your guard, Daddy and I saw a beautiful, loving, delightful spirit that we knew we had to free.

Now here we are, 6-1/2 years into our relationship, on the 5th anniversary of the day we finalized your adoption. It hasn't been easy, kiddo. There have been times when we wanted to turn tail and run for the nearest exit. But then we'd notice something miraculous: The cracks in the wall had widened a little more. With each catastrophic event came new insights. With each major blow-up came more cracks. With each heart-breaking, gut-wrenching setback came a few more steps toward you finding yourself.

Today, I can honestly say that there are more holes than wall. More and more the true heart of the little girl I fell in love with shines through.

My sweet little Girl, I want you to know that we have never stopped believing in you. No matter how hard things got, your dad and I have never (for more than a minute or two) been willing to give up on you. And we never will. And, until you can start believing in yourself enough to stand on your own, we will believe enough for you and be there to help you stand. Together, we will tear down the rest of the bricks and free that beautiful, loving heart for good and ever.

Please remember, honey, that you will not always be 17, with 17-year-old angst, hormonal upheavals, and fluctuating brain function . One day you will be a woman with an open and secure heart. And though I will ALWAYS be your mother, I will not always have to mother you. I look forward to the day when my daughter becomes a woman whom I will be honored to count among my best friends.

I love you, you sweet, ornery, uplifting, disheartening, insightful, stubborn, delightful pain in the butt. Thank you for being mine.

Wall Photo Credit: Jonathandes


  1. This is such a beautiful love story. Love and trust are tough to hold on to during tough times, but just like a large bolder, the foundation of love will never budgem. So happy for all of you what an amazing gift! XXXXXX

  2. Congratulations on 5 years. Sometimes, even when there isn't a rough background in a teenager's life, it's still a tough road. Been there, done that.

  3. What a beautiful tribute to your love and her renewal. You are an amazing woman with such an enormous heart! {{hugs}}

  4. Congratulations on 5 years!

    Beautiful post.

  5. Here's to more holes and less walls! What a great celebration.

  6. Happy anniversary! Woohoo! I hope she reads this post! Keep smiling!

  7. Lovely story darling.
    I haven't been over - horrible migraine last Tuesday and still under the weather - but I'm trying to be a better visitor again.
    May you have many more and ever better anniversaries. Being 17 is difficult enough even when you start out with all the advantages. You and your Girl are doing great.

  8. You are listed on the blog list of Angie at Keep Believing. You know that she lost her husband to cancer on March 17. Angie and Brian would have celebrated their 12th wedding anniversary on April 19. I am hoping that I can get everyone in her blog list to post on their blogs at 12:00 am on April 19 a post with the title “Keep Believing” so that when she opens her blog, her blog list is filled with recent posts all titled “Keep Believing”. I don’t know how else to arrange this other than commenting on blogs, so forgive my off-topic comment. I would ask that you keep the post up for 24 hours in case she doesn’t look right away, and you don’t have to publish anything with it, just the title will do. I am using the scheduled post feature provided by blogger so I don’t forget. Thanks so much. Heather.

  9. This is so beautiful. Congrats on 5years! May you be blessed with many more years of less walls

  10. Happy family day to all of you. What a beautiful post!!

  11. Once again you have posted such a touching post! I know that Gracie visits here often and enjoys her visits, so... I'm here to invite you and everyone else that visits this page to FosterMommyGrace's blog. She has junk to give away, and an... uh, interesting contest that you might find fun. so go ahead and visit her at http://fostermommy-grace.blogspot.com/ I'm her mom and I do NOT want her junk. I've got more than my share already!!! Besides she can use more blogging friends!

  12. Sniff, that was really touching and lovely. What a big heart you have to take in what others may deem troublesome. What a great insight to see that all kids deserve to be loved.
    Sorry I have been absent of late. I have missed your witty posts and am so glad I trotted over here this morning for such a wonderful tale.



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