If you can't make it better you can laugh at it. ~Erma Bombeck


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Port-O-Potty Fishing

Heather's Great Port-a-Potty Adventure reminded me of something I hadn't thought of in years.

Twig was about 3 when Bug was playing T-ball. The local field had a plumbing problem that year and brought in P-O-Ps to... ummm.. relieve the problem. Half way through Bug's game, Twig HAAAAAAD to go NOOOOWWWW!!!! The smell hit us before we ever opened the door. I tried to talk him into just going behind the bushes, but NOOO.

Once inside I realized that the quarters were way too tight for me to be able to help him get his pants off and back on. The only easy way was to leave the door open. Twig, however, even at the tender age of 3, was a modest little guy and would have no part of pulling his pants down in front of the whole world. After a couple minutes of him screaming, "Noooo Mooommyyy!! Cwose it! Cwose it!" I gave up and squeezed in beside him.

We had just managed to get his britches off when he realized that this was no ordinary potty. When he saw the bottomless pit over which he was expected to dangle his exposed derriere he began grabbing at me like some wild baboon trying to keep from falling out of a tree. He was sure he was about to fall in and never get out again. It was about then that I heard the keys hit the hard plastic surface. All I had time for was a quick shriek before they slid over the edge and vanished into the murky depths of port-o-potty hell, taking my stomach with them. Hubby was out of town and that keyring held the only set of keys I had to both the house and the truck.
I immediately grabbed Twig, forgetting that his pants were still down around his ankles, and hightailed it, with a screaming child tucked under my arm, for the concession stand. The whole way there I kept praying that there was something I could use to fish out the keys. All they had was a wire coat hanger that, as it turned out, wasn't long enough to reach the bottom of the muck. One of the dads came up with a ball of twine out of his tool box. And thus was invented a new Saturday-evening-at-the-ball park event: Port-o-Potty fishing.

For the next 2 or so hours every man within a 1/2 mile radius had to try his hand at port-o-potty fishing. Each just knew that if you hooked your wrist this way, or held your mouth that way, or dragged the string the other way, that he could land his prey. We never did get the keys back, and you do NOT want to know what all else was hooked!

I'd love to be around a thousand years from now when some archaeologist happens on that particular ... er... dump sight and finds a set of keys to a 1985 Ford F150 embedded in the remains. I wonder what weird conclusions they'll draw about the eating habits of the human inhabitants of that region. If you don't think that's ever gonna happen, go check out this article. It may just make you take a little bit closer look at the funny looking rock you pull out of the ground the next time you are out gardening.

And, not to worry you or anything, but beware the next time you enter a portable public facility. You may get this surprise on the way out:

Love, Blessings and Port-o-Peace to you all.


  1. That just does not sound like any fun at all. Did you have to call somebody to get into your house and truck? Doesn't sound like much fun.

  2. It's always fun a long time after.
    I've never experienced such misfortune... not yet!
    Since we're about 5 persons to get our home keys, I can laugh at your story, Damama, if you allow me.

  3. Oh, yuck!

    I'm so glad that nothing like that has happened to me. I hope it never does. I HATE Port-O-Pots!

    I'm so glad you survived to tell about it! I'll bet your boys loved to talk about it for a long time.

  4. Yuck and double-yuck!

    I remember one at a motorcycle meeting. I could get in, but not turn round. I had to back in, and try to manage while holding two helmets and a rucksack!
    I don't go away any more.

  5. Ewwww! You always have a way with your stories - I can totally picture that!

    As for your challenge - I like the idea of that, but I'm guessing you'll beat me. I've got a tough few days with work and all - but I'll shoot for the weekend!


  6. How funny what men will do if you present the activity as a "challenge". I loved the video.

  7. That's a great story and that video is hysterical! I love the new look - it's fabulous!! I have not been able to "follow" you - I don't know why I can't get it. I've been trying and will keep trying - ???

    Have a good evening - thanks for the laughs! Kellan

  8. Rolf, thank so much for being able to laugh and share this great story with us. I'm sure it was not fun at the time but boy it sure was great just now.


  9. That video was hysterical. Still giggling!
    See you found the site I use to change the blog layout. Don't they have some really cute ones? Glad it was able to help you out as well. Let's see now how long it takes Lucille to figure it out! J/K Lucille!

  10. Hah, that is funnnny!

  11. Sorry about the keys, but maybe it was better that they stayed where they fell.

  12. OH my that's not a good place for keys to be! My grandma owned a campground at at some point during my dads childhood they had taken one of the septic tanks for a camper up to dump in the outhouse and dropped the cap into the hole and he didn't want to get in trouble so he grabbed my younger uncle and lowered him down into the outhouse to retrieve the cap.....I understand he got into lots of trouble for that!

    The video is hilarious!


WELL HOWDY!! Thanks so much for popping in to leave a note. PLEASE be sure to check the box by "E-mail follow-up comments to..." so that you'll get my response to your comment. I almost always respond personally And sorry for making you do the Word jumble mambo. I wish there weren't A***ole spammers running rampant in the blogverse!


Related Posts with Thumbnails