If you can't make it better you can laugh at it. ~Erma Bombeck

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Friday, April 11, 2008

Pushing through the storm...

I am a problem solver. I've learned that no solution is possible without a solid plan, so we've come up with one for My Girl (Since that's what I call her most of the time anyway, that's what her new handle her is going to be, by the way. "Daughter" just sounded too aritificial.):

1. GED classes because there is no way she'll be able to thrive in public school and she won't allow me to teach her at home.
2. Get a job. She will not be allowed to lay around all day long doing nothing. For the time being, starting Monday, she will be working for me. I'll teach her some secretarial skills like filing and accounting (what little I know about it, anyway!). In the mean time, she's to continue to apply at other places to obtain truly gainful employment.
3. Complete her community service hours.

The plan settled my mental stresses, but my emotional stresses were still pretty unsettled. However, I have now reached an emotional place where I am mostly OK. All of the prayers and good wishes that have come in are SO uplifting and encouraging. The icing on the cake, though, came from my efforts to encourage and support Angela Williams Duea over at angelawd. (As a quick aside: I love that her name is phonetically Angel Awed because she has such a strong faith and I know she is surrounded by loving angels and is awed by the strength and peace they give her.) I was typing a comment on her "I'm not in Minnesota" post (go read it if none of my post makes sense, it will help) and all of this just came pouring out. It came from somewhere so deep inside me that I know that MY angels were helping me find the words I, myself, needed to hear. The next thought was that I needed to share it with all the wonderful earthly angels here.

I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that this wonderfuly kind and loving God who put us here and allowed us to bond and love so strongly would not just, POOF!, make it all disappear when we reach his doorstep.

I KNOW - absolutely and beyond any doubt - that my loved ones are still around me. I KNOW that I feel them, smell them, hear their words in my heart when I'm lost and their joyous laughter in my celebrations.

I KNOW that they are together and know each other; and I KNOW that even those with whom they disagreed in life are there and loved because to be in God's presence is to find the perfect peace, understanding, and knowledge beyond all earthly pettiness.

And when it is my time to go home, I KNOW that they will be there waiting for me with arms wide and I will be enfolded in a love that is beyond all imagining.

THAT is what my faith is to me. It is the peace, comfort, and hope in which I to walk every day. It is the life preserver that I cling to when I feel that I'm drowning in a world of pain, turmoil, and uncertainty. It is the hand I reach for in the dark, the sunlight that shines through the storms that this human existence spawns.

My faith is the air I breathe, the water I drink, and the pillow on which I lay my head each night knowing that no matter where I wake up in the morning, I AM LOVED.

I wish you all the peace and calmness I have found today through your love and God's grace.

17 comments:

  1. Good idea about the job. Keeping busy keeps me out of trouble too.

    Hope the plan goes well.

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  2. The Plan sounds great. Prayin that it helps My Girl!

    After reading the your comment that you shared with us, the part that stuck out for me is I AM LOVED. I sooo needed to be reminded of that today after feeling like such a failure (this whole looooong week) at this mom gig.

    Thank you!

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  3. Ok, so I'm sitting here trying to think of something that will make you feel better somehow. This is what I've come up with: Her community service hours cannot possibly be as bad as Eric's was the last time. He actually cut off the power to the entire Army recruiting building once. They figured out the "problem" (what they thought it was and continued on. Then Eric did it again. Got caught that time. Kicked out of that place. Then he pulled the fire alarm at the city office building. Got kicked out of that place too. Seriously. Kids, community service, it's all an interesting ride! lol

    The GED is a good idea. That is what Eric will be doing too. Nothing shameful with that. Not quite the actual high school diploma, but it will get them into a community college if they ever get to that point.

    I'm glad you seem to be feeling better. You are surrounded by loved ones of all kinds. :)

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  4. I'm so glad you are able to see a way through this. You're right, planning is the only way. Are GED classes a sort of night-school? With a recognised certificate at the end? If so, it sounds perfect.

    Never, not even for the tiniest moment, doubt that YOU ARE LOVED! Love is the greatest force in the universe, and the more it is used the more it grows.

    Still holding you and yours in my heart.

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  5. I'm crying. You're so kind to me. Thank you for your beautiful words when I needed it so much. When my grandma leaves, God will be waiting for her with open arms.

    And wow - YOU GOT IT! My name!

    You are one amazing lady. With all your wisdom, your children are going to be fantastic, in spite of today's worries. Keep on keepin' on.

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  6. Good luck with everything. It sounds like you are doing your best to find some good in a bad situation and you deserve some kudos for that, to be sure.

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  7. Angela - You are right. I have to keep busy, too, or... lol.
    ===============
    Lisa - I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. This mom gig is hard on the good days. When you are stuck in the house together for days on end, it just gets worse. Hang in there and let me know if I can offer any helpful hints.
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    Tammy - Laughter always makes me feel better. ;o) Heck, if we don't laugh at this stuff we'd need to buy stock in Kleenex just to keep our supply up! I keep wondering if they patterned the oldest boy on Malcom in the Middle after a combination of our two sons! LOL!
    ===============
    Dragonstar - Yes, the GED is the alternate to the actual high school diploma. We have to get a court order in order for the Texas Education Agency to allow her to take the courses instead of attending high school. Royally ticks me off that I have to pay yet another lawyer bill to get them to draw up the necessary pleadings for court.

    Thanks for the affirmation and your always solid support. xoxoxo
    ===============
    Angelawd - thank you, and you are welcome. :o) Regarding my wisdom and my children - nobody's kids ever think they are all that wise and/or amazing until long after they've had to raise their own unappreciative rug rats. LOL! Hopefully, though, I can use all I've learned to make a difference in other people's kids' lives.

    Hang in there, sweetheart. And when it all gets too much, do me a favor and go play this video. I promise it will lift you up.
    Natalie Grant - In Better Hands Now
    ================
    Burgh Mom - Thanks. We need all the good luck we can get. I'm beginning to think that my kids have a lot in common with Alexis' "kids" - they both have some very smelly attributes and most people would just flush 'em away. LOL!

    ********************

    Thank you all for your prayers and support. Believe me, it does make it easier to fight to find the positives when I'm not having to fight to feel better, too.

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  8. Hang in there. The plan sounds solid as long as you can keep her motivated.

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  9. DARNIT! I thought for sure this program would be just the thing for YOUR GIRL. DARNIT DARNIT DARNIT! God must have other plans. Let's stay the course and pray that she allows Him to work in her life. I pray right now that God would just open your daughter's mind and heart to all He has in store for her. That God would heal her of her past hurt, pain, injustice, anger, brokeness and allow her to see His love for her, his faithful yet tough love forming her into the person He has in store for her through the love and guidance you show her. I pray this in His Perfect Name.

    Sorry I just now read this. I took a few days off (I do that every week nowadays)

    KEEP BELIEVING

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  10. Good for you! Setting ground rules but without being too strict. I like it. I also like her new name!


    www.kathy-iamwhoiam.blogspot.com

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  11. Gave you some bling today. Stop by when you get a chance.
    KEEP BELIEVING

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  12. Oh my gosh...I am away from blogland for a few days and all this happens to you! I am so sorry to hear all of this about your daughter. After you had just posted the beautiful tribute to her too.

    I hope that things settle down. I think your plan sounds like a wise one.

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  13. Sounds like a great plan. You are an angel to so many others, I'm glad you have angels on your side.

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  14. That was beautiful, and came at a good time for me. You always have such wonderful advice and kind words for me. Thanks for your thoughts over the loss of my grandma. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. All I can think of is this: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2nd Timothy 4:7. You and your family will make it through this.

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  15. Michelle - Thank you. Something's got to get her motivated - nothing else ever has.
    ===============
    Angie - Thank you for the lovely prayer. And QUIT APOLOGIZING for taking time off! Sheesh, girlfriend, if anybody needs some quality downtime, it's you!
    ===============
    Kathy - Thanks. You know that rules don't usually work with these girls, but we gotta start somewhere, don't we. ;o)
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    Angie - OOOOH? BLING? FOR ME?? I'll be over soon to get my goodies. THANK YOU!
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    AZ - Thankfully, her stuborn stupidity doesn't take away from my love for her. Don't LIKE he too much a lot of the time - and especially right now - but I do still love her.
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    Daisy - You are so sweet. You and I both have very special angels watching over us, don't we.
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    Heather - I love that verse. Thank you for the reminder.

    *****************

    UPDATE TO ALL: The PO declined to put her back in lockup today, THANK GOD! So The Plan is on. Thank you all for your good wishes and prayers.

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  16. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter had to leave the boot camp school (Kalynne mentioned it to me when we got together the other day). It is so difficult to deal with an angry teen (believe me, holes in the wall are nothing new here - ask me about the one in the ceiling). Hang in there.

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  17. Suburb - Thank you for stopping by and for your kind words. Now I HAVE to know how you got holes in the CEILING?? I'll be right over. ;o)

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