Pushing through the storm...

I am a problem solver. I've learned that no solution is possible without a solid plan, so we've come up with one for My Girl (Since that's what I call her most of the time anyway, that's what her new handle her is going to be, by the way. "Daughter" just sounded too aritificial.):

1. GED classes because there is no way she'll be able to thrive in public school and she won't allow me to teach her at home.
2. Get a job. She will not be allowed to lay around all day long doing nothing. For the time being, starting Monday, she will be working for me. I'll teach her some secretarial skills like filing and accounting (what little I know about it, anyway!). In the mean time, she's to continue to apply at other places to obtain truly gainful employment.
3. Complete her community service hours.

The plan settled my mental stresses, but my emotional stresses were still pretty unsettled. However, I have now reached an emotional place where I am mostly OK. All of the prayers and good wishes that have come in are SO uplifting and encouraging. The icing on the cake, though, came from my efforts to encourage and support Angela Williams Duea over at angelawd. (As a quick aside: I love that her name is phonetically Angel Awed because she has such a strong faith and I know she is surrounded by loving angels and is awed by the strength and peace they give her.) I was typing a comment on her "I'm not in Minnesota" post (go read it if none of my post makes sense, it will help) and all of this just came pouring out. It came from somewhere so deep inside me that I know that MY angels were helping me find the words I, myself, needed to hear. The next thought was that I needed to share it with all the wonderful earthly angels here.

I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that this wonderfuly kind and loving God who put us here and allowed us to bond and love so strongly would not just, POOF!, make it all disappear when we reach his doorstep.

I KNOW - absolutely and beyond any doubt - that my loved ones are still around me. I KNOW that I feel them, smell them, hear their words in my heart when I'm lost and their joyous laughter in my celebrations.

I KNOW that they are together and know each other; and I KNOW that even those with whom they disagreed in life are there and loved because to be in God's presence is to find the perfect peace, understanding, and knowledge beyond all earthly pettiness.

And when it is my time to go home, I KNOW that they will be there waiting for me with arms wide and I will be enfolded in a love that is beyond all imagining.

THAT is what my faith is to me. It is the peace, comfort, and hope in which I to walk every day. It is the life preserver that I cling to when I feel that I'm drowning in a world of pain, turmoil, and uncertainty. It is the hand I reach for in the dark, the sunlight that shines through the storms that this human existence spawns.

My faith is the air I breathe, the water I drink, and the pillow on which I lay my head each night knowing that no matter where I wake up in the morning, I AM LOVED.

I wish you all the peace and calmness I have found today through your love and God's grace.