Well, crew, I'm off again on another family "adventure." This time to Dallas to help get my elderly aunt moved into an assisted living facility. But I couldn't leave without providing a parting giggle or two. Enjoy!
EXCERPTS FROM YOUR PETS' DIARIES
FROM THE DOG
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!...
FROM THE CAT
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
The dog journal sounds like it could have been written by the dog our family had growing up, except I would need to add;
ReplyDelete1:00 a.m.- beg to be let outside, then bark at the moon for an hour.
3:00-4:00 a.m. sit on owners head and stare at the ceiling.
Hahahaa. I love the cat, and I especially love the contrast. (That picture should be made into a poster, by the way.)
ReplyDeleteHave a good trip, Damama; we'll miss you!
HAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteJust what I needed today. Thank you so so much for the laughing.
I hope that you get your aunt in the assisted living facility without to much problems.
~Jennifer
Ah man!! We will miss you again!
ReplyDeleteLove the stories and the photos! Thanks for the laughs! I needed it tonight!
Have a safe trip.
ReplyDeleteLovely ... lovely ... lovely ... !
ReplyDeleteI've seen the diary excerpts before, but a long time ago and I couldn't remember them properly.
I love those illustrations too - that computer-kitten is worse than my two! And the poor feline in the shower! Mind you, I'd never risk having bare limbs (not to mention anything else!) shut in a box with a watered cat!!!
Have a successful trip.
Hello! We moved my senior parents from their home of 39 years to our town just over a year ago. I know what that's like. Good luck with everything with your aunt. I hope it's not too traumatic for her.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to your return.
Kat
(stop by when you get a chance and read my Friday Flashback poem - it's the one that got me started.)
Jill - LOL! Your dog must be related to ours. Hubby is so nice - and sleeps soundly enough - that he doesn't mind them being in bed with us. I, on the other hand, refuse to be pushed out of my own bed, so make them sleep in their own "rooms" because I need my beauty sleep! I know - quit whining! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you here again!I'll be over to see you soon.
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KALYNNE - I should have known your philosophical mind would love that. ;o) Because of you, I now find myself looking for the opposites of everything! LOL!
I'm anxious to see what's up with the car thing, so I'll be by soon to catch up. Thanks for stopping in here again!! TTFN!
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Glad to make you laugh Jennifer. See you soon. I'm so far out of it, I've lost track of the countdown! I'll be over soon to reset my timer.
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AZ - I'm glad to make you laugh, but now I'm worried about why you needed it tonight! Be there in a short short to check it out.
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Thank you, Deb. I'm so far behind!! But I'll be over to check on Peanut soon. She's such a cutiepie!
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Dragonstar - ROFL about the bare limbs thing! I thought about that when I saw that picture. There is NO WAY I'd ever attempt that!
I need to edit this post to put in the note that the whole thing wasn't mine. Like you, I saw it somewhere a long time ago and, thanks the the wonder of the Internet, I was able to find it again to include here. TTFN
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Kathleen - Thank you for the encouragement. I know she will be OK. She's so lonely at home since my uncle died last October. We are hoping that being with others will bring her out of her depression before she just withers up and joins him.
On my way over to see your flashback now. Can't wait 'cuz I love your stuff!
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Love and Blessings to ALL!
LOL Love the pics!
ReplyDeletewww.kathy-iamwhoiam.blogspot.com