If you can't make it better you can laugh at it. ~Erma Bombeck

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Thursday, July 3, 2008

Damama's Use It or Lose It Advice on: Getting in the picture.

We went out to Cracker Barrel for dinner tonight. It is one of my favorite home-style cookin' joints. I love their chicken 'n dumplins (that's how we say it down South - those endin' Gs are for the prissy britches set!). Well, actually I only love the dumplins part. They are just like the ones Mom made -- another of the recipes lost after her death. Their red beans (ok - pinto beans if you just want to get all technical about it) are as close to Mom's as I've ever tasted, too. And, sorry, Mom, but their biscuits kick your biscuits' floury white little butts. All that food stuff is great, but the most fun part is the walk I take down memory lane as I wander through the gift shop. So many of the toys and candies take me waaaaay back. Back to the days when I thought my mommy would always be in the picture.

As in most families, Mom was the shutterbug: always behind the camera, rarely in front because she didn't like having her picture taken. As a result, I have loads of pictures of me, me and Dad, me and various boyfriends, me and pets. What I don't have is any pictures of me and my mom.

When I got old enough to grab the camera I started stealing candid shots of her whenever I could sneak up unobserved. But, again, those times were rare. When I the boys came along we would take turns taking pictures - again one of us was always behind the camera. When she was gone I went in search of photos to show the kids. What I didn't find broke my heart -- there were no pictures of me with mom.

How about you? When was the last time you got in FRONT of the camera? When was the last time you had a picture taken of just you and each of your children alone. Ever? What are the things you want them to remember about you? Do you sew? Crochet? Paint? Garden? Do you have any pictures of yourself doing those things? How about your parents? Do you have photos of you alone with each of them? Who are your friends? Do you have pictures of yourself with them? They will need to remember, too.

As moms, we want to give our children the very best of everything, but so often we unwittingly shortchange them on tangible memories of US. So here's your first challenge: Go buy a bunch of disposable cameras and give one to each of your kids. (Put their names on them to avoid confusion!) Then encourage them to take pictures of each other, you, the family. (You might want to specify no nasty or rude or embarrassing butt shots!) When you get them developed you'll get a great idea of what interests them. You might also get to see yourself through their eyes.

Your second challenge is to make a vow right now to hand that camera off to your husband every now and then. Having memories of you through his eyes is another great gift for your kids.

This Celine Dion song, so beautifully presented by nataliedg, tells the story in this mother's heart. I know it is a song that you sing, too. Please don't let your Coulds slip away into sad Should Haves before it's too late.

If I Could




Peace, Blessings, and SAY CHEESE!

25 comments:

  1. Oh this is so true! I did try to get in the picture a few times this past 2 weeks, but probably not as much as I should have.


    .....Also....I have very few pictures of my mom.

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  2. So well put, but so far I think all my girls have of me are bad memories. I've been trying to leave the youngest with good, but somehow, I think the bad outweighs the good. I'll sure try to get in front of the camera more with her, though. I don't have any pictures of my mom either.
    Right now the youngest is spending time with the eldest in PA.
    You can e-mail me at out_er_banks@yahoo.com

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  3. Hubby does get behind the camera quite a bit so I do have pictures of me and the girls. What I don't have are a lot of pictures of us together.

    We're going to Cracker Barrel for breakfast tomorrow! Hubby suggested going tonight, but I prefer their breakfast. Are their dumplings the big fluffy ones or those rolled out noodle things? My mom makes the fluffy ones. Yummy.

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  4. I think I'm very lucky. My Dad was very keen on photography - poor at seeing pictures, if you understand me, but keen on the mechanics. He had a camera, and my Mum bought a small camera on honeymoon. As we girls got older, we had a good camera each. Wherever we went, we took photos of eachother, usually in groups. Then my Dad would develop and print a huge batch when he had the time. All fuzzy black&white pics, but at least we have them. Digital cameras are a boon these days, crisp pictures and no wasted film. I love photos!

    By the way - lovely to have you back!

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  5. Workin on it. Hubby's not really into taking pics, but if I have to be part of the subject... no doubt he'll have fun with that.

    Kids get a little camera happy if I ever let them have the camera.

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  6. You are right.
    I come from a long line of "Don't get me in the picture" women.
    I'm not sure if I have any pics of me and my mom other than my wedding photos.
    I shy away from the front of the camera because I don't wan't my fat butt recorded for posterity.
    Last week, I was trying to tickle my 12 yo son, and ended up in a wrestling match with him. (darn kid is getting really strong) I looked over and noticed that DH was snapping pictures of us. I was going to delete them, but now I won't.

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  7. I just turn the camera around each time we're out snapping away and take my own picture with random children in the picture with me. Or donating blood or platelets like we did yesterday. And I'm not too shy to ask someone to take a picture for me. My oldest boy loves to grab the camera and snap away. He took my rainbow vacuum picture for me even!

    They will have lots of close ups of us hugging and loving on one another!

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  8. I love Cracker Barrel. Too bad, I can't find one here in the Pacific Northwest.

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  9. Same story with my mom...she hated having her picture taken...So, not so many of her at all...not past High School, anyway...
    I insist to myself that I NOT hide from the camera, even if I'm not feeling the way I'd love to look.

    I do love Cracker Barrel...one of my favorites...
    Blessings, E

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  10. Guilty as charged. I'm usually the one behind the camera. But I have handed it off on occasion. Welcome back. Margie

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  11. I wasn't going to post the Monday morning camping pictures of us, because we got caught in the rain while cooking breakfast (before showers) and I looked terrible. Then, I read this before I wrote my blog post and felt convicted. I guess it didn't hurt too much. lol

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  12. Tammy - Quit TRYING to get into the pictures and just DO IT! You are The Mother. threaten to ground somebody if they don't take your picture! LOL! (how's that for creative memory making! LOL!)
    ===============
    Rosebud - I often feel that way with my Girl. Seems like for every good memory I make, something happens to create 5 bad ones. But we have to keep trying, don't we. I have faith that one day, when they are grown and have kids of their own they will understand more about why we did what we did - good, bad, and ugly. But regardless, when we are gone, they WILL want to have pictures of us. Thank God that the bad memories fade with time as long as there are at least a few good ones to hold onto. Photos are usually taken at happy moments. Hang in there, honey. It's all gonna be OK. xoxoxo
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    Debbie - I love seeing all of the pictures you post of yourself with the girls. They will have a treasure trove of wonderful memories.
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    Dragonstar - How fun! Now I understand why you have such a wonderful photographer's eye. You are very blessed to have had a family who captured their memories on film at a time when cameras weren't exactly cheap. I'd love to see some of them sometime.
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    Lisa - I can tell you are working on it. I've seem more pictures of you with the kids lately. Good job!
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    Jill - I'm glad you aren't going to delete the silly pictures. Always remember that you are taking the pictures for your kids, not for yourself. The person you see in the mirror is rarely the persont they see in their hearts where you are just Mom - fat butt and all. ;o)
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    Army Brats mom - I love all the pictures you get of youself... and the videos! LOL! Lots of fun stuff to remember.
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    Elizabeth - I'm sorry you don't have many pictures, either. It's great that you recognized that early on and are taking steps to make sure your kids have lots of you.
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    Margie - "on occasion"?? That beautiful granddaughter of yours deserves to have as many memories of you as you are making of her. Maybe if you got in the picture more often, she wouldn't resist so much anymore? Just a thought. ;o)

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  13. That was a lovely post. Thank you. Now that I've just returned from out yearly trip to visit my parents, i've just realized that I didn't get any pictures of them! Drat!! And double drat!
    But i did get a book a while ago entitled "Conversations with my Mother" and "Conversations with my Father". And i spent hours asking them questions about their lives when they were growing up. My mum kept saying "No one will be interested in reading this"........ but i will.

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  14. Great advice. Of course, I have ZERO pics of me and the kids from this weekend! I do try and take a few of me and the kids every now and again though. Thanks for the reminders!

    Happy belated 4th!

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  15. Great advice. Of course, I have ZERO pics of me and the kids from this weekend! I do try and take a few of me and the kids every now and again though. Thanks for the reminders!

    Happy belated 4th!

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  16. Guilty!! I'm always the one playing with the camera, and when I do get a picture of myself, I always hate the way it looks.

    I never thought of it from that point of view, though. I better get my hiney IN FRONT of the camera - and soon...

    Thanks!

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  17. What great advice (like always). I will insist that I get a bit more camera exposure (and try not to be so critical of those pictures).

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  18. Great idea! I tend to be behind the camera because I love to take pictures...and pictures of me usually have some horrendous cellulite images or a bizarre alien expression on my face. Maybe that's the way my kids should remember me.

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  19. Did you ever get my email? How are YOU doing? Nice what you said to me, but you just don't know the horrible thing I did. I'm working on leaving good memories now, and I guess that's what counts. I sure hope so, cause that's all I have to go on.
    Hope you are doing okay.

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  20. Our camera has been hijacked by the teens, and I guarantee the last thing they want to photograph is ME! But just as well. I'm too busy facing the window on the other side of my laptop.

    I gave you an award, you wonderfully dear person. Come by and pick it up, won't you?

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  21. Once again, you're right, Damama.
    I haven't enough pictures of me and my parents, and me and my children since I'm always on the bad side of the camera.
    Maybe, during that time of holidays, I'll try to change that bad habit.

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  22. I've been away a lot lately. Done little blogging. Hope you are well. I love this post. So true. So true. Must get in front of the camera! You always have heartfelt, wise things to share.

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  23. Hi!I have gotten addicted to your blog.I fond it on a friends blog...Michelle(My 2 Army Brats).

    I like this post a lot. It realy made me think of how I need to get more photos of me and my mom together and some of just her while I still have her here with me.

    I also have started taking photos of me and my girls together because I want them to always have that. My grandmother raised me and I only have one oicture of her and my grandfather and I miss them terribly. I think if I had more pictures it would be a little easier.

    I just want to say I love Cracker Barrel. The store is so awesome and I love being able to get some of the candies and older toys for my girls.

    Thanks for the great post!!

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  24. Jules - That book sounds wonderful. What a great way of preserving memories that might otherwise be lost to time. Way to go girl! I know you'll remember to get pictures as soon as you can.
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    AZ - Haven't seen many of Dad, either. You better get clickin' girlfriend! ;o)
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    Melody - Glad you realize it. All they will want is to have pictures of the real you - not some retouched work of art that somebody concocted. It's those everyday memories that mean the most. Good luck!
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    Robin - See above. ;o)
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    AngelAwd - LOL! Again, see above. xoxoxo
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    Rosebud - I did get your email and I'm praying about your situation. I'll get you a response sometime this weekend. It's going to be OK, honey. Just remember to keep believing in the power of love to heal.
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    Kalynne - YOU ARE THE MAMA - HIJACK THE DAMN THING BACK and make them take pictures with you... even if you have to do it as a punishment. At least there will be something for them to laugh about when they get older! LOL!

    Goodies for me??? WOW! I'll be over soon. Thank you!
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    Catherine - I don't think that any camera in your hands can have a 'bad' side. However, they ALL have a FRONT side... get on it chick!! ;o)
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    Daisy - I've been away a lot myself lately. I'm so glad to see you! I'll be over there to catch up soon. In the mean time, go get a picture of yourself posted so I can see that beautiful face. ;o)
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    Mrs Suds - ADDICTED?? TO ME??? WOW! I'm so honored! Yes, you do need to get more of the two of you with those you cherish. I agree that having more photos would make the loss a little easier. They don't seem so far away when you have the photos to help you remember.

    God bless you and thanks for stopping by.


    Thanks again so much for popping in.

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  25. The cheap digital camera is broken, my cheap film camera needs batteries (I need to take it with me, as I never remember which ones I need), but my oldest daughter has a real nice Canon Rebel EOS film camera, as she took photography in school last year. I should have her take more pictures and teach me how to use it? Hers can be set to auto focas/auto film advance or have you set everything manually, I think.

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