If you can't make it better you can laugh at it. ~Erma Bombeck

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

LET'S ALL CELEBRATE. NOT!!

Monday was a day of celebration that was nothing to celebrate about. As I was getting ready to take 2+ dozen cupcakes to Galveston for Daughter's squadron to help her celebrate her Happy Forever Family Day the phone rang. Seems Miss ASSter (I'm seriously thinking about permanently changing her name to that!!) decided that she would throw one of her classic fits and proceeded to: 1. Throw books at her team leader (their equivalent of a dorm parent); 2. Threaten to break the teacher's thumbs; 3. Kick a hole in the wall of the classroom. Yep, you heard it right - KICK a HOLE in the WALL. They wanted me to come down and try to get her calmed down. My first thought was, 'you are the professionals. what the heck do you want ME to do??' But, being the idiotic optimistic pushover loving mother I am, I hurried up and hit the road.

Forty-five minutes later I pulled in the parking lot only to be met by a very chipper, almost jubilant, daughter. She was all smiles and happiness. I, on the other hand was fuming. I guess my look said it all because she stopped dead in her tracks and started trying to explain. Explain?? Kicking a hole in the wall??? Threatening people?? How about explaining what happened to my Cadet of the Week?? Never mind -- I am so sick of her explanations that I could actually throw up. Anyway, as always, I took a deep breath and tried to hear what she was telling me.

First, she was not feeling well; hasn't been for a while now due to sinus and allergy problems. Monday morning she wanted to go to the nurse but they wouldn't let her because (pick one - it's a multiple choice pop quiz) A. they didn't care whether she lived or died; B. she uses it as an excuse to get out of doing anything she doesn't want to do; C. they hate her; D. THE FRIGGIN' NURSE WASN'T THERE AT THE MOMENT! If you answered D., you get a 100. If you answered B. you get partial credit. A & C, however earn you a trip to the Principal's office for thinking like a screwed up little snot who can't seem to get it through her head that the whole world does not revolve around her and just because things aren't going your way you shouldn't threaten people with bodily harm and KICK HOLES IN WALLS!!

Second, they tease her and call her names and pick on her all the time. And she just does not understand why the phrase, "I pulled a knife on my own mother. What do you think I'll do to you?" is sort of off-putting. Nor does she know why telling people, "I'm going to f-ing kill you/break your face/kick your ass/break your arm," hasn't won her a BFF there. And who wouldn't respect a classmate who sleeps/whines/complains/disrupts class/argues with the teacher/argues with the other students or just plain walks out every day?

After about an hour of talking to her, the assistant administrator, and a counselor we finally decided that she should come home with me for the night so that I could get her to the doctor for additional allergy medication. Plus, this gave her a chance get her head clear a little and get some much needed family bonding reinforcement time.

I took her back Tuesday morning. I didn't go in with her because this is her mess to have to straighten out. They were meeting with her to give her a chance to apologize to all concerned and convince them that she should be allowed to stay in the program. Since it's Wednesday night I haven't heard anything yet, I'm assuming that they let her stay. Either that or they had her probation officer pick her up and she's back in lockup. (They have 48 hours to notify me.) If that's the case, I should get a call sometime Thursday. Either way, it's out of my hands at this point. Thank God for small, albeit short-lived, favors.

Oh - and the cupcakes? Still in the back of my car. Thursday's trash day. I wonder if the garbage men would like some cupcakes.

17 comments:

  1. Oh, Damama, hugs to you! It did give me a sense of perspective -- no, not just on my own Cadet-Slacker-of-the-Year's issues -- reading this post after your earlier one on getting her. (This IS the same daughter, right?)

    Just like my C(S)OTY's Commandant said to me this evening, "They're works-in-progress."

    Keep the faith!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, Damamma. Sometimes they just rip your heart out and they just can't seem to see things the way they really are, until it's too late.
    I'll be praying for you both.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, Damama, I'm so sorry. I thought she was doing so much better. But you are right, she does have to learn that the world does not revolve around her and that she has to learn respect for others. And I understand exactly what/where you are right now. Just keep the faith. Love Margie

    ReplyDelete
  4. O.K., now my own kids' nasty outbursts don't seem quite so bad.

    My heart is breaking for you, Damama.

    We'll increase our prayers for you and your family.

    ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

    ReplyDelete
  5. (((HUGS))) to you Damama! I hope things get better for you and your daughter!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sometimes having kids really sucks!! It can be such a rollar coaster ride. Full of highs and lows. ((Hugs)) to you and your daughter.

    Yes, I am sure the garbage man would love to have some cupcakes. :)

    Thanks for you comment about my eyebrows, yes I still love ya!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't understand why you would keep putting up with it. My lord - doesn't that kid realize that she owes you her whole life? Did she really pull a knife on you or was that just trash talk? If she did WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU LET HER BACK IN YOUR HOUSE?

    She better be glad you took her and not me. If that's the kind of stuff she pulled on the other family no wonder they gave her back. I couldn't sleep at night knowing she was loose in my house. No way. She'd have to go.

    I'm sorry if this sounds cold, but the reality is that she sounds like a very dangerous person. Please be careful and don't get youself hurt in the name of love.

    kk in kc

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hope things get better for you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sending love and hugs your way. You and your family are in my prayers. Stay strong. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  10. Kalynne - I figured you would understand the confusion that is brain death in a child. I like that Works-in-progress line. I may have to have it tattooed on my hand to remind me not to SMACK the little witch! ;o)
    ================
    Rosebud - Very apt description, that ripping of the heart. Every time we think things are heading in the right direction she pulls something else. I'm really out of ideas of how to help her. God's gonna have to do it all from now on.
    ===============
    Margie - We thought she was finally turning a corner, too. I guess it's back to the old two steps forward and one step back routine.

    I figured you'd be another one who really understands.
    ================
    Brandi - LOL! I'm glad to be able to provide you some perspective. ;o) Thanks for the extra prayers and hugs.
    ================
    Brandy - Thank you. Me, too!
    ================
    UTMom - I found out today that our garbage men are not allowed to take food items. Strange, huh. I wonder what happened that necessitated that rule??

    Thanks for the good thoughts and hugs - and for still loving me even though I'm turning into my MIL! ;o)
    ================
    KK - I guess I'm going to have to do more writing on why we keep dealing with it all. And yes, she did pull a knife on me. Several times. But only once did she scare me enough to make me have her arrested and charged with assault. And no, I don't sleep well when she's home no matter how good her mood is at the time. That's why she's not allowed to live at home all the time anymore.

    I promise I'll get up another more indepth post soon. Right now, I'm just drained. Thanks for popping in again.
    ================
    KRISTI!!!!!!!!!!! there you are!!! I have been trying to remember who you were for about a week now. The other day I was thinking I hadn't seen (forgive the name thing) that ABC chick in a while. And then I couldn't remember your blog name or your name. I was planning on going back through some old post comments to try to find you this weekend. Glad you showed up to save me all that work! LOL!

    Thank you for your kind good wishes. TTFN!
    ===============
    Sandra - How are you, honey? How's the remaking of the you coming along? I see you still haven't posted anything since your birthday. HOpe all is well.

    Thanks for the love and hugs. And I send 'em right back atcha!

    ReplyDelete
  11. You should send those babies to me! I will appreciate them with every bite!!! You get an A for not losing your cool. I can't even imagine what I would do in that instance! I'm betting your previous blog assisted you....there are no accidents. I was never quite that angry, but there were defiently anger issues. My husband and I went to what's called Impact Training. Changed my life and taught me how to get rid, or recognize why, of the anger. Life changing! you can google it... impact training in SLC. I'd be happy to answer any questions....but looking for yourself...it's intersting! Thanks for the complimetn too...you are very sweet!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Life isn't easy.
    I guess that is where the term tough love came from.
    Hope things get better

    ReplyDelete
  13. (((hug))) I figured you could use one right about now. You seem to have gone through so much with her. I know it can't be easy for you. I'm praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. It is times like this when I get so very angry with God and yell why, why would You put so much pain in a child's life?

    Praying for your entire family...

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am so sorry! Unfortunately, I can relate. It's not much fun to be hit, slammed into walls, and told you will die. Being called names doesn't help either. I know you are on the other end of it, but I'm sure it wasn't much fun for you either. I'm sorry to hear that.

    www.kathy-iamwhoiam.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Berezay - I'd send 'em but I'm afraid that I just got ticked off and trashed 'em. I know - sacrilege! LOL!
    ===============
    Angela - I'm getting so good at tough love I should now be sporting the heavy weight championship belt!
    ===============
    Grace - thanks, honey. Hugs are always helpful.
    ===============
    Robin - Getting angry with God is something that I use to struggle with often. The older I get, though, the more I realize that He really does do everything for a reason. I JUST WISH HE'D BE MORE FORTHCOMING WITH CLEARLY STATED INFORMATION! LOL!

    Thanks for the prayers - we definitely need all we can get.
    ===============
    Kathy - Nobody should have to be put in a position of being threatened or assaulted. NOBODY. And I don't care if it's my kid or somebody else's doing it, the person should receive all appropriate consequences for their actions. I'm sorry YOU were on the receiving end at your last job.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are an amazing woman! You're doing all the right things! I hope that you got some hugs and love from your daughter while you had her home for the night.

    ReplyDelete

WELL HOWDY!! Thanks so much for popping in to leave a note. PLEASE be sure to check the box by "E-mail follow-up comments to..." so that you'll get my response to your comment. I almost always respond personally And sorry for making you do the Word jumble mambo. I wish there weren't A***ole spammers running rampant in the blogverse!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails