If you can't make it better you can laugh at it. ~Erma Bombeck

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Responsibility

Since the day they became mine, my children have heard it over and over and over again: be honest, accept responsibility for your actions, and make amends as best as you can, as soon as you can. So, in an effort to practice what I preach, I submit the following:

Dear Daughter,

I am writing to apologize for my horrible, inexcusable transgression against you. It all happened so fast that even at this moment, I'm not quite sure how it began. All I know is that one moment I was standing in the kitchen looking for something to snack on, and then... Oh Dear Lord, please forgive me.. and then... it just happened.

What makes it worse is that you had no opportunity fend off the attack. I can't believe that you have become so trusting as to leave yourself open to such cruel treatment. In the past you have always assumed a defensive position and kept your guard up in such situations. I am so ashamed of the fact that I took advantage of your new-found ability to trust. I just pray that I haven't trashed any chance of you ever trusting me again.

So here I am, with this terrible hurting in the pit of my stomach because of what I did, asking your forgivness. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't forgive me though, because I did the most horrendous thing one woman can do to another:



I ATE YOUR CHOCOLATE!
But hey!, at least I was able to stop myself in time to save part of the bunny's butt and one eyeball. The Whoppers, however, are goners. MMMM MMMM... oh, sorry.

Sincerely,

Your bunny munchin' mom.


ps: Next time PLEASE hide the dang stuff like I told you to before you went back to school! xoxoxo

40 comments:

  1. Oh dear! I am pretty sure Dante had a special circle of hell for chocolate-snafflers. I think it involved being forced to eat nothing but white chocolate (blech!) for all eternity........

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  2. I was sitting here only half awake while reading this. I started reading the letter and my heart dropped (or some other odd phenomenon). I was finally able to start breathing again when I came to "I ATE YOUR CHOCOLATE!". I was worried there for a moment.

    Hurry, quick (but drive carefully) run to the nearest store and buy a bunny on discount. I'd say take your time but the other bunny munching moms may have already snatched them up.

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  3. That was not nice. I, like Brandi, thought, Oh.my.word. I was worried about what had happened. But it would probably have ruined before she comes home again anyway. Feel better? :):)
    Margie

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  4. Some people scan through an entire document before actually reading it word for word - I am not one of those people. I thought you were gonna say something awful!! I'm still trying to hide our leftover Easter candy from myself, couple that with Andrew's leftover birthday cake and you have a recipe for disaster! Poor Olivia wouldn't eat her little bunny cause she thought it was a toy, and an uninteresting one at that. Have a great day!!

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  5. Oh, how sad, your just going to have to get some "replacement chocolate"...luckily whoppers are available all year. I'm sure the apology will be accepted.
    Pax

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  6. We are so lucky at our house. Luke does not like chocolate in the least, so any chocolate he gets from relatives is fair game.

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  7. At our house, the children understand that any chocolate left out in the open is a gift for me.

    I've noticed that if I don't buy the good chocolate, I'm less likely to "snack" on the kids treats, however, if I am desperate enough, and the darn candy is still sitting there, I can't be held responsible for my actions.
    I consider eating their chocolate as a way to teach them to put their stuff away, so basically I'm being a good mom by helping them to learn how to be responsible. Right?

    I can rationalize pretty much anything when it comes to chocolate.

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  8. Great, Great ART ....
    I was wondering what sort of ... at the same time so sincere and tragic, and suddenly , uncontrollably funny. You would KNOW writing a comedy drama! When scriptwriters will be in strike again, Studios can call you.
    Your children would laugh with you... except when you are in your "role of nasty mom".

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  9. Shoot! Now I feel guilty for all the chocolate I've snitched from my kids' baskets. They've been blaming each other for their candy losses. Do I still need to confess and apologise?!?!

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  10. Don't you know the bunny is off limits!? I may steal the kids' M&Ms and Peanut butter cups, but the bunny. Come on Damama, that's such a rookie mistake! In the end, it is your daughter's fault for not putting it away like she was told to. If the kids don't listen to us, they have to live with the consequences. :)

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  11. That just about made me pee my pants. :)

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  12. It's about time your daughter learns not to leave valuable items out in the open where thieves will take them, right? I mean, first it's the Easter chocolate, then the designer handbag, then the really expensive ring. All you did was head off the behavior early.

    (BTW, that's great news about Baby Chris!)

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  13. Shame on you! Not for eating it, but for admitting it! lol.

    I've snitched from my kids so many times. Yikes.

    You had me laughing so hard. I just love your blog. :) I never know what to expect! lol

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  14. How could you be a bunny muncher? And then just leave the eyeball? Oh my. I sure hope she forgives you.

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  15. That is just to funny, I really thought it was going to be something terrible. Thanks for the laugh :)

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  16. I am rolling with laughter! I am sitting here thinking what on EARTH could YOU have done??? LOL Thanks for the giggles tonight!

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  17. Loth - Welcome, newcomer! Chocolate-snafflers. HA! I love that. But if I have to be forced to eat white chocolate as a penalty, BRING.IT.ON!! LOL!

    Thanks for stopping by. I'll be over to check out your corner of the blogverse soon.
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    Brandi - I'm sorry I scared you.. NOT! ;o) LOL! I'd go buy another bunny, but I'd just end up eating it, too. Her next leave in May's a long way away.
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    Margie - Thank you. Yes, that does make me feel better. Well, makes my feelings feel better - my tummy's still a little queasy from all that chocolate, though!
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    Susan - I DID SAY SOMETHING AWFUL!! LOL!

    I'm glad I'm not at your house because my tummy ache would be even worse because I'd have to help you mmmm... get rid of all that naaaaasty junk to save your kids' teeth!

    Poor Olivia. I guess she'll just have to grow into that female chocaholic thing. LOL!
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    Elizabeth - you don't have a blog! I was going to go check you out and... :o( The thing about her Whoppers is that she really likes those little egg ones in the carton. I really thought I could go to Walgreens and buy some more... but they were all gone today! AACK! I'm sunk! LOL!

    Thanks for de-lurking. I love getting your comments.
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    Heather - Wow you are lucky. Your thighs may not think so, but your mouth is probably hummin' with joy! xoxoxo
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    Jill - Hey girl! I need to get over to your corner of the world and catch up! LOL!

    I LOVE your logic. It makes perfect sense!! Thank you for pointing out the good parenting aspect.

    Oh, and if it wasn't for rationalization where would any of us be?? Really!?! LOL!
    ===============
    Catherine - Aww shux! Thank you ma'am for such a great compliment. My kids do laugh at me a lot (key word being AT) LOL! And who, me? Nasty mom?? You betcha!! ;o)
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    Lisa - You only need to make amends to the girls. Boys' chocolate is always fair game. They don't have to PMS we don't have to confess! LOLOL!
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    Debbie - Talk about sending mixed messages. First you have me hanging my head all over again for bunny munchin' and then tell me it's OK because it's her fault anyway. LOL! I choose to adhere to the latter. Thank you very much for the easy out! LOLOLOL!!!
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    Valarie - ROFLMBO!!
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    Burgh Mom - You are absolutely right. I did her a favor! That'll learn 'er durn 'er! LOL!!
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    Tammy - LMBO! Now what kind of example would I be setting if I didn't admit to being a low-down chocolate thief? You should go apologize to the girls immediately! (MISERY LOVES COMPANY, DON'TCHA KNOW!?!)

    Glad you enjoy hanging around here. I love havin' ya!
    ===============
    Angela - HEY! I left part of the butt and BOTH, count 'em, BOTH feet!! A.N.D. an eyeball... sheesh!! She'd better be grateful for THAT small favor! ROFL.
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    Roseann - Well howdy and welcome to another newby! Glad to have you here.

    Glad you got a laugh. Stop by any time. Sometimes it's laughs, sometimes tears, sometimes just plain shake your head and sigh stupidity - but it's almost always SOMETHING! LOL!
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    AZ - I COULD have done a lot of stuff - any of which would have been less heinous than kiping her chocolate! Especially her beloved Whoppers! LOL! ;o)

    ****************

    Thanks to all of you for brightening my day - and making me feel like not such a rotten mom. ;o) XOXOXO and TTFN!

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  18. There for a minute I thought you had commited the unpardonable. I really have with my girls.
    I mean, here's an humble apology and confession...then it is CHOCOLATE! No lie, no murder (except to the headless bunny)!
    This one was just unexpected and so funny!
    On the upside, you can fein amnesia in May. By then, maybe you'll forget how delicious the forbidden candy was.

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  19. Rosebud - you are so right about forbidden candy tasting soooo much better! It is a memory that won't soon fade... now where'd I put that bunny butt??? LOL!

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  20. You had me really worried!!! Apparently your daughter needs to find a hiding spot for her chocoalte like the rest of us have. I hid mine from my kids -- she needs to hid hers from her Mom!! :)

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  21. Damamma,
    I spend so much time reading blogs and skipping from one thing to another, I might lose my Husband if I started Blogging for myself!Maybe this Summer when we aren't "schooling" around here....Hmmmmmmmmm...
    Pax

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  22. Hi there Damama-thanks for leaving me a comment on my blog...I have a perfect solution for you for this situation....I buy my own Easter candy and hide it from everyone.....then I can sneak around and eat it whenever I want.

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  23. UT Mom - LOL! I'll send her your way to get some pointers next time she's home. ;o)
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    Elizabeth - 1. I know exactly what you mean. I have trouble getting anything else done because of the blog addiction! 2. I'm so curious - what is PAX? ;o\
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    Marilyn - thanks for popping in. The suggestion is wall taken, but... uummmm... I had already eaten all mine before the Easter Bunny ever made an appearance. That's why I was scavenging in the first place! =8-O LOL!

    Hope to see you again soon!

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  24. So Sorry, "Pax" is
    Latin for Peace. Short form of Pax Christi or May the Peace of Christ be with you. I've been using it as a farewell for so long that I forget that not everyone has kids taking Latin... (mine are 9 & 7)doing "prima Latina".
    Have a great day, Elizabeth

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  25. Elizabeth - Thank you for teaching us something new!

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  26. Every girl needs chocolate. Even Moms. Sorry I haven't called. So busy and stressful here still. But just have to say I love your support. Your comments on my blog always lift me. You have been such a light to me.

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  27. Great post. My son is still to young to know better.
    Or I would be in trouble too.

    Thanks for visiting my blog.
    I will be back to visit you again

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  28. Quick...maybe they have some on sale still?

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  29. Oh dear! Addiction is a terrible affliction! I only really like dark chocolate, but I've been known to eat the cheapest, nastiest things going - just because they were there!

    Thanks for your continues visits and kind comments. And thanks for those great links to Anita Renfro, she's great!

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  30. Oh my goodness,
    That is so funny. We "check" the kids candy from halloween for "bad" ones. Yes we honestly do and take a few pieces on the side all the while our kids are like what, no fair. We smile and say you don't need this much candy anyway. (he he he) We evil parents need to stick together. KIdding.
    Vanessa

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  31. Daisy - We have lots in common, kiddo. That motherless daughter bond is pretty strong. You know how to find me if you need me. I'll even share my ill-gotten bunny leavin's with ya if it'll help. ;o)
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    Angela - Thank you very much! LOL - it's easier with boys because most of them just don't get the whole chocolate/life corollary.

    Thanks for stopping by. I'm still amazed by your ability to do this with the vision limitations you have. Blows my mind, girl!
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    Michelle - I've decided to take the advice of the wise women here who deemed it my daughter's fault that her bunny got munched. She should learn to put her things away! LOL!
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    Dragonstar - That explains it!! It's an addiction! Therefore, I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS!! It's an illness, and chocolate is the only cure! THANK YOU!! LOL!

    Glad you liked the Renfro stuff. She is sooo funny and it's always good, wholesome fun.
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    Vanessa - That is so funny, too. And I remember those "check your stuff" days. Then the boys learned the trick and started having to "check" our drinks before we tasted them to be sure they weren't poisoned or something. It was years before I was finally able to drink my whole beverage again! LOL!

    Thanks so much for stopping by. I'll be back over to check on you soon.

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  32. I just have to say I am still sitting here laughing....my kids have learned to eat the bunny first or else Monday could see an end to the bunny. Thanks for the laugh tonight!

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  33. Brandy - HI! And Welcome, newcomer.

    EVERYONE - Meet Brandy- She's brandy new (giggle giggle) to the blogverse. Her very first post on her blog was this past Saturday. It'd be nice if y'all'd go over and say howdy when you have a chance!

    Hope you all had a great weekend!

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  34. Wait a minute, I thought mothers were ENTITLED to the bunny ears in their children's Easter baskets.

    They are mine I tell you, MINE!

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  35. Robin - ROFL!! "MINE!" I love it! Your kids probably aren't too fond of that concept, but I LOVE IT! Thanks for stopping by. I love meeting new people. TTFN

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  36. Damama,

    Yes, it is oh so important for us as parents to admit our mistakes and ask for our children's forgiveness when the crimes we commit are against them, no matter how big or small the sin(fully deliciouness)

    KEEP BELIEVNG

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  37. Angie - Before I ate it, it was big and definitely sin(fully) delicious! LOL!

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  38. Any candy, especially left unattended, it Mine! I found 4 cadbury eggs hidden in the freezer the other day. I only got 1 and a half, as Sam (18 mo) dumped my purse and found the others. He took a bite and dropped it on the floor, little monkey.

    I really don't need the candy, but it sure tasted good. :)

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  39. "He took a bite and dropped it on the floor..." He WASTED A CADBURY EGG!?!?!? BANISH his evil, diapered butt POST HASTE!! ;o)

    Need?? Who said anything about NEED?? LOL!

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  40. Brandi told me today to read this one and oh my she was right. This is hilarious!!!

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