Early Turkey

We had an early Thanksgiving feast with our oldest friends tonight. I'm stuffed! Come back tomorrow for my list of personal disasters for which I am abundantly grateful. For now, if you want to read some of my earlier posts on Thanksgiving fun check out:

The Turkey's First Bird - The story of the first time Hubby ever cooked Thanksgiving dinner.

For tonight, sleep well with sweetpotato and pumpkin pie dreams.

Animations provided by MySpaceAnimations.com

Keep Believing

I sat down here to write something profound about the fact that today is not only my husband's birthday but also Angie and Brian's wedding anniversary. I was going to talk about how blessed we both have been to have such wonderful men in our lives. But for some reason the words won't come. That always happens when I try to write about the things that are the absolutely most important in my life. There are just no words that seem adequate -- No turn of phrase that fully describes the total peace and gratitude that having this man in my life brings.

That was hard enough, but then I tried to add in something warm and insightful about Angie's loss of Brian and how hard it must be and how so amazingly, incredibly strong she is, and all I could do was cry... Cry for Angie as I try to imagine what her life must be like as she learns to walk through the shadows on this new path she's been pushed down... Cry for the fear that I wouldn't ever be able to be that strong...

In the end, the only thing I can really say coherently is this:

My best friend, strongest supporter, toughest critic, and most amazing lover turns 55 today. I am grateful to have been given 30 years (so far) with this amazing man. It seems like Only Yesterday that we met, and no other song says how I feel better:




HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUBBY!
I am going to Keep Believing that we will have at least another 30 together.

It's never to late to make your dreams come true.

For those of us who graduated from high school in the early 70s college was "a good idea" but not the virtual necessity it is today. Back then there were still great jobs available for HS grads and, if you were smart (and lucky), you landed one in a field you enjoyed and it grew into a life-long career. Such was the case for Hubby.


After a false start as a draftsman he was hired as a night-shift computer operator at the age of 19. By the time I met him he was the 25-year-old manager of that data center. As the years went by he steadily advanced in his career, becoming the VP of Information Systems for his second employer in 1991. When that company's ownership made some seriously bad business decisions causing the company to flounder three years later he was quickly snatched up by one of the largest medical concerns in the Houston area where he has remained. He is very good at what he does and extremely well respected not only within the organization, but also throughout the the information systems community at large. Because of this, the question of his educational background never bothered anyone. But him.


Throughout the first 20 years of our marriage he sporadically attempted to attend college. However, the demands of running 24-x-7 technology departments would always take their toll on his efforts. Even so, he never gave up on the dream of getting a degree. The advent of Internet-based distance learning provided him the opportunity to finally reach for that previously unreachable sheepskin-shaped star.


We did loads of research and finally found Kaplan University's on-line degree program. While they are accredited by the same folks as the University of Phoenix, their tuition costs run about half or less, and include free shipment of any books and/or software that may be required to complete the classes, but cannot be made available online. Their course structure and scheduling allowed great flexibility and was ideal for students who had to work for a living while attending school.


With the enthusiasm of a starving kid set loose in a cookie factory, in mid-2004, at the age of 50, Hubby threw himself, heart and soul, into his studies. For the next 3-1/2 years through all of the trials with my Girl and some pretty enormous changes at work he kept pushing himself toward his goal. His normal routine involved getting up at around 5:30 a.m. to arrive at work by 6:30, leaving work at 6:00 p.m. (or later) in time to get home for whatever seminar he was supposed to be attending online or to work on homework. He rarely hit the sheets until well after midnight. He rarely took time off even on the weekends. For that 3-1/2 years there was virtually no family time. And I would not have had it any other way because I had never before seen him feeling so good about himself. I was honored to be the behind-the-scenes support that helped put that smile on his face every time he got an assignment back with a 100 on it.


In March 2008 Hubby completed his courses, earning a his Bachelor of Science in Management with Information Systems Emphasis. He not only accomplished this in 3-1/2 years, he did it with a 3.99 GPA. (Would have been a 4.0 but he challenged one professor on a paper. He won that challenge, but then on the final, when an essay question could have been interpreted either of two ways, the professor chose the "screw you you insulent, impudent, peon" interpretation. While Hubby again challenged the decision, this time the dean chose to defer to the professor's decision robbing Hubby of that 1/10 of a point that would have allowed him to graduate with the highest honors. I don't understand why some people have to have that type of god-complex control issues! But that's a topic for another day.) This accomplishment makes Hubby the VERY FIRST male in his entire family - uncles, brothers, cousins, 2nd cousins.. you get it - to graduate college. Sadly, not a one of his family members has bothered to send their congratulations. Again - that's a whole 'nother topic of discussion.


On Saturday, August 2, 2008, at the Chicago Symphony Orchestra Hall, Hubby finally took the walk of a lifetime. I cried like a baby. So here, I proudly present the man of my dreams as he finally fulfils his:

Congratulations, honey. You never let anybody shake your will to succeed and I could not be more proud and honored to be your wife. Your example of never giving up and always believing in yourself is a gift to all who know you.

Damama's Use It or Lose It Advice on: Hubby School 101

Hubby came home with these beautiful roses for me and I couldn't resist showing them off. He does this kind of thing on a semi-but-not-so-regular-that-it's-trite basis. Sometimes it's just some little thing he saw that he knew would make me smile. A few times it's been wild flowers he saw and thought of me. He discovered Wal-Mart's online music stuff recently and has made me a couple of CDs with songs that he knew that I'd love, but also with some thrown in that he said made him think of me every time he hears them.

This is the reason that I don't get all upset when we don't make a big deal out of anniversaries, birthdays, Valentines, and other traditional holidays. Unlike some women who only have those few days to look forward to being treated special, I am blessed to have married a man who treates me with love, respect, and kindness every day of my life. And then he goes and throws in just enough silliness to keep me laughing most of the time.

How did I get so lucky?? Well, partially it is because he's a man with a good heart. But I bet most of you married your husband at least partially because you loved his heart. The only thing that I have done differently than most of the women I know is that I have spent years nurturing and honoring any and all efforts he's made at being kind, loving and respectful. And I have never yelled, nagged, or complained about his mistakes.

Only once in 27 years have I returned a gift he bought me. It was a pair of diamond stud earrings he bought because he knew I liked small ones. He didn't realize that he'd purchased baby earrings and the posts were too small for my lobes. I exchanged them for the exact ones in grownup size. And he was right, I loved them.

I wore a man's bathrobe for 6 years because he bought it for me for Christmas. Silly? Not when you know that the reason he bought it was because the color matched my eyes and he thought I would look good in it and that it would keep me warmer than those flimsy robes that generally populate the women's racks. He actually put thought into it, and I honored that. And I loved him for it so much that I put my own silly opinions aside and wore it until it wore out. If I hadn't listened, really listened to his reasons for selecting it BEFORE I made some harsh comment about the fact that it was a man's robe, I'd never have heard him tell me that he loved the color of my eyes and thought the robe was perfect because of that match... and I would have forever killed a piece of his willingness to ever try again.

Over the years I've worn a few things that I didn't particularly like all that much. But instead of frowning or scoffing and making him feel bad about the purchase, I'd spend the next year or so showing him catalogs and playing the guess which one I'd like best game to teach him more about what my taste was (and to learn what his was, also) whether it was in watches, rings, clothes, or sleep wear. By the next time he decided I needed a new something, he'd pretty much have my preferences figured out. And if he was slightly off again, it didn't matter because I knew he was making the effort and THAT is what REALLY mattered.

These beautiful roses are a prime example. For years, he would bring me the traditional cut flower arrangements. And I'd put them in water and oooo and ahhhh over them (even the really gaudy ones in the early days), but when it came time to throw them out I'd always comment on how sad it made me lose them. That's when he started bringing me live plants knowing full well that I'd probably end up killing them anyway - I have a brown ... no make that a black thumb. But that's OK because they will still last longer than the cut kind. I don't recall ever saying, "please stop bringing me cut flowers and only bring me the kind that I can kill on my own." He heard it, though, because I hadn't taught him to shut his ears to everything I said in order to avoid hearing me nag and complain and belittle his efforts.

Each of us teaches the people in our lives how to treat us. If we accept abuse, we get abused. If we give respect, generally, we get respect in return. If we expect love and kindness, and show that by giving love and kindness, it will come back to us. Relationships are all about teaching and learning how to bring out the best in each participant.

What are you teaching your husband about the person you think he is? Have you taught him that you value and honor him, warts and all? Or have you taught him that he can't do anything right and is too stupid to allowed out of the house alone to shop for you? If you constantly find yourself disappointed with what he buys or does for you, maybe it's time to stop and figure out how to change your lesson plan.

Class dismissed.

Don't Worry! A Christmas Card for my Friends

My friend Dee Ann sent me this! I'm not much into that, "forward this to a gazillion people or you're a dork" kind of thing, but I thought it was cute and I love the thought of having each of you nabbed and bagged for my Christmas morning surprise!

If a fat guy grabs you and puts you
in a bag, don't worry,
I TOLD SANTA I WANTED A GOOD
FRIEND FOR CHRISTMAS!

Plus – here’s a really cool site with some neat Christmas stuff. CHRISTMAS LEGENDS AND ODDITIES

Have to get back to work before Hubby catches me slackin! I'll get a real post up as soon as he faints from exhaustion! OH yeah, like THAT'S gonna happen anytime soon! The energizer bunny better watch out - he's got some serious competition here!